When a friend of mine texts me, asking me about my weekend. His was quiet and he was just making some cauliflower soup. I tell him what happened.
"Oh my. Poor guy! Was the floor wet? Have you seen a doctor?"
Nah. I slipped. Banged my knee against the wall.
"Do you need anything? I can bring you some stuff."
That's awfully nice of you, but I'm not incapacitated. A bowl of soup would be nice, though.
"Don't be too proud to ask for help. I can even take your temperature. (innocently bats eyelashes)"
From that moment on, I knew the intentions were no longer innocent. There's another text.
"If you have a difficult time getting in and out of the shower, I can help you too. Just think of me as a giver."
Oh, I know you're a selfless giver.
"I have very strong hands. I can give you a deep tissue massage."
I don't reply to this. A few hours later, there's another text.
"Seriously, though. If you`d like me to bring you anything after work tomorrow, I will. You know I`m not nut. I`ll leave right after I deliver your supplies. No hanky panky."
I say I'll text if I need anything the next day, but it was a very generous of him to offer.
Sometimes a bowl of soup isn't just a bowl of soup.