Feel
At the end of every relationship, you look back and reflect on what was good and what was bad. Sometimes one column dominates over another. Guess which one?
You made me feel cheated. Promises went unfulfilled. Our future was clear, but one-sided.
You made me feel worthless. You treated everyone with respect. I was your bitch. But, I am worth more than two of you. Period.
You made me feel angry. From the first day, I should've seen your lies were just lies, not eventual truths. All of that energy that could've been used for love and affection, went somewhere else.
You made me feel stupid. This is the worst offense of all. No one can make me feel stupid, but you managed to push the right buttons and pull the right levers. You're manipulative. And, I hate you for that.
In the end, you made me feel. You made me feel the worst I could possibly feel in a short period of time. With those lessons learned, I will grow and move on.
Yet, if you asked me back, I would welcome you with open arms.
You made me feel cheated. Promises went unfulfilled. Our future was clear, but one-sided.
You made me feel worthless. You treated everyone with respect. I was your bitch. But, I am worth more than two of you. Period.
You made me feel angry. From the first day, I should've seen your lies were just lies, not eventual truths. All of that energy that could've been used for love and affection, went somewhere else.
You made me feel stupid. This is the worst offense of all. No one can make me feel stupid, but you managed to push the right buttons and pull the right levers. You're manipulative. And, I hate you for that.
In the end, you made me feel. You made me feel the worst I could possibly feel in a short period of time. With those lessons learned, I will grow and move on.
Yet, if you asked me back, I would welcome you with open arms.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
4 Comments:
As I look back on this post, I realize my feelings were strong.
They haven't changed, although the moment has passed.
The pain will dissipate, and I will remain the same.
I think most of us have these same, strong sentiments about someone. In a relationship, you treat the other person the way you'd like to be treated, and it's not always returned. Yet...givers will continue to give, and takers will continue to take. It sucks, but we'd put ourselves in the same situation again, if we felt they needed us.
It's amazing to see how easily we give others complete control over our feelings--again and again. My mother always says no one cane 'make' you feel anything, a charming attempt to draw attention to the lesson I'm supposed to learn from that particular heartache. I consider myself to be a person of moderate intelligence, so why haven't I learned how to avoid the type of pain you wrote about?
It’s simple: my mother (and anyone else who dishes out this advice) is WRONG. OK, so I may go to hell for saying something it, but it’s true. It’s the missing piece of the equation: Yes, they CAN make me feel stupid, unwanted or unworthy, and yes I’ve handed them this power. They always know they have that advantage, whether I voice it directly or by my actions. But they know. And they’re reckless with my heart.
And I’ll keep on doing it (to varying degrees) until I find the special somebody who will recognize the beauty of what I have handed them.
I've so been there. My thoughts are with you.
xoxo,
ken
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