I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, July 30, 2012

I just don't find you attractive

It’s date night and I’m walking towards Bay Street on my way to meet R.  I haven’t been out this week, so the invite was a nice break from drudgery of work.

My phone begins to beep and I see it’s R.  I walk across the street and do a half wave that resembles a sideways salute.  It takes two seconds for R to move from a feeling of elation to one of deflation.  The smile disappears, the shoulders slump.  I have a feeling it’s going to be a great night.

Within a few minutes, R tells me he’s meeting a friend soon so he has to make this quick.  I say that’s fine as I can tell we won’t need a lot of time to get acquainted since we’ll soon get married in an elaborate ceremony that will be photographed by People magazine.

While R acts like a petulant bitch and exhales/rolls his eyes every time I ask a question, we make our way through the bookstore and R manoeuvres himself away from me; he’s playing hard to get.  Soon, we leave and make our way back to R’s place, since he has to meet up with his friend who now may-or-may-not be coming into town that night to meet up with him.

Before we say our goodbyes and pick a time to select our place settings at William Ashley china, I pull up my right pant leg in order to kneel down and offer him a Harry Winston diamond engagement ring.

“Well, you know, if you want to hang out again, you have my email and phone number,” I say.

“Ya, you know, I won’t be calling you ‘cause I just don’t find you attractive,” he replies.

“Um, ok then.  Thanks for the tea!” I turn around on my heel and walk away.

To be honest, I was surprised R had the gall to say that to my face.  From my experience, if you’re not interested, just say you’ll see each other soon out of politeness, even though you know you won’t.  And if he didn’t find me attractive, why did he ever want to go on the date?  That I don’t understand.

Whatever.  He had a beer gut and no chin, anyway.  Guess the wedding is off.

Note:  It shouldn’t be assumed this event occurred recently.

Monday, July 02, 2012

From a hang out to a boyfriend

A few weeks ago, I heard about a friend of a friend who claimed to be in a new relationship.  I was skeptical.  This person has a habit of elaborating certain parts of his life which makes me wonder if he really believes his own lies.

Long story short, he's hung out with this new guy a few times in the past month and they really like one another, so he guesses that means he has a boyfriend.  And, I'm thinking, he's 'hung out' with this guy a few times and he's already in a relationship?  Is that all it takes?  Apparently, for some people, it is.  I, on the other hand, must come from a different world.

Even after dating someone for a couple of months, I still wonder if we're 'going steady' (i.e. exclusive to one another, or just putzing around), or not.  Even if 'the talk' has been had, it still makes me ponder if we're both on the same page of a rather lengthy book.

Truth be told, I don't really believe anything he says.  A large grain of salt must be spread on those meals he's feeding us.  A big part of me thinks he's really just a 14-year-old girl in a body of a 30ish-year-old man.  If his fantasies were true, then I'd have to believe he's dated every male supermodel and actor who has ever crossed his path (and he's a 5/10 on a really good day, no matter how sparkling his personality).

Then again, I tend to keep my own tales a secret.  Even if I am dating someone, it's not like anyone would know.  Maybe I have hung out with someone a couple of times and now we're in a relationship, too.  But, that could just be a fantasy, too.