I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Hot flashes

As much as I don't like to admit that I'm getting older, I do have to face the fact that no matter how hard I try, that painting in the attic will eventually have to be dusted once or twice.  The worst thing about finding out you're aging is when there are signs of male menopause; the most obvious one being that of hot flashes while sleeping.

I realize the human body does sweat approximately one litre of fluids each night, but that number still astounds me.  I'm not a big sweater (I'm more of a slim fit t-shirt haha).   During the day, I stay fairly dry unless it's a heatwave.  But, I've been noticing that when I wake from a night of slumber, I'm damp, as if spritzed with a spray bottle.

One time, the night sweats got so bad, I woke up from a dream (maybe I thought I was drowning?).  Rolling around in bed, I patted my back and my chest (with my t-shirt still on) and it was soaked.  It was as if I had jumped into bed right out of the shower.  I got up, changed clothes and went back to bed, thinking it was a one-off thing.  After that night, it happened a few more times.

I guess it's finally here.  I have to admit that I'm reaching my mid-20s, even though I don't want it to happen.  Ever.  You know what they say, you never know it's going to happen until it creeps up on you...  sometimes in the middle of the night, while you're fast asleep.

Monday, October 01, 2012

Sitting by a water fountain

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m taking a break from my computer.  It’s time to unplug and enjoy the vast world that lies outside of the limited area of my desktop.

Grabbing a coffee along the way, I walk through the park that resides close to my residence.  It’s hidden within a series of taller buildings and is a gem for those who wish to take advantage of its location, smack dab in the centre of the city.

With the coffee in my hand, I take a seat in one of the woven metal chairs that encircle the large water fountain.  Opening up my bag, I take out a small book I’ve been reading and slouch into the chair.

Occasionally looking up, I see there’s a young man with an older woman walking towards me.  Upon closer inspection, I notice he has a mild form of Down Syndrome, although it’s barely noticeable.  He asks the woman (from what I hear, is his mother) if he can sit close to the fountain.  She agrees and off he goes.

He walks up to fountain, sits up on the ledge, lifts his legs over to the platform, bends them, and grabs the underside of them.  He remains in this position for what it feels like hours.  Occasionally, he focuses on the water, looks towards the sidewalk and has an occasional glance towards his mother.

With this, I begin to look up at him, towards the water, at the sidewalk, and back at my book.  His is a calming presence in the centre of a bustling city.  He seems so peaceful and relaxed, as if there’s nothing that gives him greater joy in the world.  He’s in the moment and embracing it.

People don’t know how to do that and feel the need to learn how to learn to unwind; using alcohol, drugs, or even something like yoga (which can stress the fuck out of a lot of people).  That defeats the purpose of calmness if you’re frustrated as shit.

From now on, I’m going to take advantage of those small moments of calmness and appreciate them.  It’s not every day when one can sit in front of a water fountain and get transported into another world, if only for a moment.