I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Saturday, August 01, 2015

Carbs are bad, mmm-k? (an L.A. story)

You have to give credit to those who follow strict diets. Their regimens are as calculated as the career trajectories of Tom Cruise and his Stepford bride(s). Instead of timing pregnancies and births of alien babies with movie premieres, dieters know what to eat, when and how much.

Although I don’t follow any real “diet” regimen (eat when you’re hungry and eat everything in moderation are my two rules), some people can be fanatical about what goes inside their mouths.

When I sit down to eat with V for a late dinner, my eyes glance over the menu and I choose a sandwich with fries. When I tell the waitress my order, she looks at me as if I was telling a bad joke. Wouldn't I rather replace the fries for something else? Uh, no. I'm ordering fries, not cancer.

Apparently, carbs are unhealthy, and they include anything that is white – bread, pasta, sugar, flour. As you know, carbs are refined sugars that turn into fat if they’re not burned off. Carbs are bad, mmm-k?

When my meal arrives, I start off with my (lightly battered) fries and slather them with ketchup. They’re delicious. The sandwich isn’t bad, either. V’s plate is much healthier than mine: grilled chicken breast with veggies. It doesn’t look bad, but I don’t know if I could ever give up eliminating carbs from my diet.

Why not eat the foods you enjoy? Bake some bread. Drive by Dairy Queen. Chow down on chips.

For all I know, I could end up being the healthiest person in the world and get killed during a hit and run when crossing the street.

Give me my fries and let me die the old fashioned way: cardiac arrest.


Note: These circa 2006 writings are the personal observations of a wide-eyed Canadian, and are not reflective of the residents of L.A.