Don't get too close, I'm Catholic
As someone who is around large groups of people on a daily basis, I welcome any opportunity to enjoy some personal space.
Today is no different.
While I'm the last person in this crowded queue, waiting to be serviced, there is always the chance that some obnoxious person will come up out of nowhere, take advantage of this vacancy, and close in on me.
Chance takes two seconds to show up.
Out of nowhere, Bubba sidles up to me. He resembles an overweight lumberjack who has come from the lodge, drunk on a six-pack of cheap beer, and smelling of three kinds of game. He leans forward and breathes deeply. He's smelling the air between us. It's making me uncomfortable.
The line moves and I take one step. He takes two. He continues to breathe deeply. I shudder. In 15 seconds, the line moves again. I take one step, he takes three.
If it wasn't for his protruding stomach, we'd be the same person - two heads, four arms, four legs, one torso.
He's. Just. Too. Close. Should I ask him if he wants a cigarette when he's finished?
What is it about people and lineups? Do they not like to wait? Do they not enjoy having several people ahead of them? Do they enjoy passive-aggressive bullying tactics to speed up the process? Either way, it's not very comforting for the rest of the people in line.
I want to turn around and ask him not to stand too close. But, how can I phrase the question without insulting him and having him take out his anger on me?
Should I tell him to respect the personal space of others? Should I tell him the line won't move any quicker even if he continues to intimidate me? Should I tell him that Catholicism doesn't permit any sort of touching?
The last one could work. Guilt him into doing what I say. Unless he isn't Catholic, then I'm screwed either way.
The line moves again and I'm being served. I stand as far away as I can from Bubba.
Catholic, or no Catholic, either way, he's going to hell.
Today is no different.
While I'm the last person in this crowded queue, waiting to be serviced, there is always the chance that some obnoxious person will come up out of nowhere, take advantage of this vacancy, and close in on me.
Chance takes two seconds to show up.
Out of nowhere, Bubba sidles up to me. He resembles an overweight lumberjack who has come from the lodge, drunk on a six-pack of cheap beer, and smelling of three kinds of game. He leans forward and breathes deeply. He's smelling the air between us. It's making me uncomfortable.
The line moves and I take one step. He takes two. He continues to breathe deeply. I shudder. In 15 seconds, the line moves again. I take one step, he takes three.
If it wasn't for his protruding stomach, we'd be the same person - two heads, four arms, four legs, one torso.
He's. Just. Too. Close. Should I ask him if he wants a cigarette when he's finished?
What is it about people and lineups? Do they not like to wait? Do they not enjoy having several people ahead of them? Do they enjoy passive-aggressive bullying tactics to speed up the process? Either way, it's not very comforting for the rest of the people in line.
I want to turn around and ask him not to stand too close. But, how can I phrase the question without insulting him and having him take out his anger on me?
Should I tell him to respect the personal space of others? Should I tell him the line won't move any quicker even if he continues to intimidate me? Should I tell him that Catholicism doesn't permit any sort of touching?
The last one could work. Guilt him into doing what I say. Unless he isn't Catholic, then I'm screwed either way.
The line moves again and I'm being served. I stand as far away as I can from Bubba.
Catholic, or no Catholic, either way, he's going to hell.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
2 Comments:
Hey Tiva you need the backpack like at Expo, remember? ttys angel
If ONLY you could summon those sought after tears, at these moments!!! Break out in sobs,and turn around to say, "I just need a hug."
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