I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Doing coke with Jeremy Piven

During TIFF, there are a variety of happenings which lend themselves to write stories, almost all by themselves. Watching premieres, going to events, and hob-nobbing with celebrities are fodder for the sublime.

So, it should come to my surprise when someone finds my story about how I introduced myself to Gerard Butler and posts it on a very popular entertainment site. At first, I was flattered because someone thought about me. Then, things got ugly. Fast.

The comments started flying through the air, like fireworks on a holiday: I was rude. I was an idiot. I was full of myself. I was a poor sap, puffing up my chest. I was an embarrassment. And, on and on.

Sadly, I don't think anyone read the same story I wrote. In fact, I don't think they ever read anything I wrote about before. This was a snippet in time. Lucky for me, there were a couple of people who made jokes about rice - they have a sense of humour. I never said anything negative about anyone. Gerard Butler was a nice guy. His two companions were nice people. The food was only passable.

Take my writing with a grain of salt, because it just tastes better.

And, I never wrote about what happened afterwards; that's between me and Mr. Butler.

And if I was a rude and food-crazy monster, I would've been fired by my boss a long time ago, since it is my job to work with the rich and famous on a regular basis.

For God's sake, it's not like I wrote about doing coke with Jeremy Piven. I didn't even mention the fact that all these skanky women were throwing themselves at him and he didn't stop them (which is sad because he is so talented and can do so much better). No, I didn't do any of that because I'm a classy kinda guy.

I guess for next time, I'll have to keep the stories to myself.

Even the ones that involve Madonna.


Blogger hot-lunch said...

i've never done coke nor do i intend to, but in my imaginary world, if i were to do it, it would be off of someone's penis. God i'm such a cliche.

September 10, 2008 12:08 pm  
Blogger RomanHans said...

Note to self: don't write about celebs blocking rice.

September 10, 2008 12:35 pm  
Blogger franck said...

Can't really blame those women. I'd throw myself at Jeremy Piven, too.

September 10, 2008 1:11 pm  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Buddy, what do you expect from a society that worships Paris, Amy and Spears. No way they are going to read the humour from your post, I mean shit... I'm just happy they bothered to even read something at all!

I just hate you because you got to hang with Madonna plus your a sexy bitch too! ;P

September 10, 2008 2:05 pm  
Blogger The Neighbors Will Hear said...

If you're going to celebrate the cult of celebrity, you're going to have to accept the negatives that come with.

September 10, 2008 2:39 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

Don't sweat the stupid people Dear...and besides, you did say "PLEASE move out of the way".

September 10, 2008 3:24 pm  
Blogger Chris said...

This is what happens when crazy people play with Google all day.

Remember Twinkie Tuesdays? Some crazy SOB googled his name and came across the recipe he created (and that I subsequently made fun of). I let him know who's boss.

People are such crybabies. They see what they want to see and have NO sense of humor. I blame this all on the PC nature of our society. Did they threaten to sue you? That's next.

September 10, 2008 4:36 pm  
Blogger dit said...

Jeremy is quite tasty. We watched him play Tennis one night at UCLA. People come off so silly when they choose to become political.

September 11, 2008 12:40 am  
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September 11, 2008 11:35 pm  
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