I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Facebook fallout

Recently, while going through my Facebook account, I noticed something was missing. Namely, some of my friends were missing. It wasn't they deleted their profile, it was they deleted me as their friend.

What the fuck is up with that? What the fuck did I do to have that happen? I surely can't piss someone off to that extent, rendering myself friendless, can I?

Apparently, I can.

The first time it happened, it was with a friend I've known for several years. We went to school together, graduated and always kept in touch, even going out several times. When she got married, she spent more time with him (which is understandable, because he's her husband). But, it didn't take too long before she started cutting off people out of her life. I was one of them.

The second time it happened, it was with a friend who I knew for approximately a year. Things weren't bad, even though we weren't the best of friends (I only have a couple of best friends). After a while, he filtered through a sieve and his visibility became finite. When I'd write, I'd get no response. Then, I found out I was no longer on his friends list.

The third time it happened was with someone new in my life. Since we're always doing things together, it would make sense to be Facebook friends. I sent an invite and... it was declined. Why would that happen? Who would do that to a friend? Then, I find out it's because I am reminiscent of an ex (which isn't my fault).

Being someone who is faithful to the idea of a friendship site, I only have people who are my friends on Facebook. I'm not one of those people who have 850 'friends' - this isn't MySpace. I actually talk, e-mail, or chat with my friends on a regular basis. So, you can imagine how I feel when a friend no longer considers me to be a friend, anymore. It hurts. A lot.

Friendship can be so fickle.


Blogger haliaeetusguys said...

I've lost a friend on both Facebook and MySpace. Was it because they found out I was gay and didn't like it? Who knows? But then I lost friends before, long before the internet. A guy I knew since high school eloped, married and disappeared. Even his roommate wouldn't tell me why! Things happen and we move on. - Volker

August 18, 2008 1:22 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

You're still my facebook friend. I just checked.

August 18, 2008 8:38 am  
Blogger Southern Boy said...

Someone unfollowed me on Twitter. That was funny, really. Honestly, if someone can be so passive as to "de-friend" you from their life by removing you from a social networking site, are they really worth being friends with in the first place.
They deserve nothing more than the middle finger and not a second thought.

By the way, I unfriended you on Adam4Adam.

August 18, 2008 9:56 am  
Blogger Bobby Cox said...

Ohmygod it's so fucking petty.
I was working with this woman who had a hissy and unfriended me on Facebook and I was like you loser. It's Facebook for God's sake.
If you like being awkward, like I do, it's always fun to ask the person why they unfriended you.
This silly cow at work didn't know what to say and you could see she was wanting the floor to swallow her up. Because I asked her in front of other people.
do you know - don't do on the net what you wouldn't in real life.
fuck this is turning into an essay.

August 18, 2008 4:17 pm  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Hmmm and the strange thing is you are a total sweetheart on Facebook, not at all like the bitchy nasty bitter guy you pretend to be here! ;P

uh-oh, just kidding Steven, don't un-friend me!

August 18, 2008 4:58 pm  
Blogger The Neighbors Will Hear said...

Yet another example of why some of us over a certain age don't get the whole social networking phenomenon. Who wants to extend the angst of high school into adulthood?

August 18, 2008 6:08 pm  
Blogger john said...

I hate when that happens too. I lose friends over time. I have never had a facebook or a myspace, but I am sure it would hurt if someone deleted me off their list. I would take it personally and it would bug me for days.

August 19, 2008 12:23 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! are we all not guilty of a little bit of it? I have a few friend requests that are jsut sitting there. Co-workers mostly. I just really do not see the need to include them in my personal life. I already spend eight hours a day with them. Do they really need more??

And didn't facebook jump the shark when your aunt requested you as a friend?

August 19, 2008 1:16 am  
Blogger Martin said...

I've had people take me off - most notably my ex who took me off on Sunday - which was just rude.

The funniest was a friend who thought I was ignoring him, and had to send me a new request a month later...

August 19, 2008 2:52 am  
Blogger Vincent T said...

there is a slight sting but then again how many times have we (collectively) made such decisions about others. Empathy training sucks.

August 19, 2008 2:58 am  
Blogger Chris said...

My sister pissed me off recently and I un-friended her because I didn't know how else to confront her. Passive aggressive? Or childish insecurities?

August 21, 2008 10:10 am  
Blogger BRYAN AMBITION said...

fuck em!
you're still my friend ;-)

August 22, 2008 8:34 pm  

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