I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Pee pee hair

Being someone who likes to have things clean around him, I find it rather ironic that I perform a certain behaviour (unknowingly) time after time that borders on the disgusting.

Whenever I finish my business in the loo, I walk to the sink and look in the mirror. It's the only time in the day that I do this since I'm too busy with work (and no one in the office really cares about my appearance). Before turning on the faucet, I run my fingers through my hair to make any adjustments... forgetting that my fingers have been in contact with urine.

Yet, as gross as this is, I do it every single time. I don't even stop myself. It's like an unlearned behaviour, bordering on instinct. Pavlov should've been so lucky.

Why can't I wash my hands before running them through my hair? Hmmm... Maybe that's the reason why my hair is so shiny.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I EVER meet you in real life somehow....remind me NEVER to shake you hand lol.

July 25, 2008 12:51 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is it your hands are covered in urine? When I pee, I just hold my dick, I don't play with what comes out. Seems like you may have more of a problem than you think.


July 25, 2008 4:37 am  
Blogger Brice said...

I was going to just say 'ew', but Gonzo made a good point - why are you peeing on your hands?

July 25, 2008 8:35 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

I was thinking what gonzo was.

July 25, 2008 9:13 am  
Blogger Tom said...

Exactly... the question isn't why can't you wash your hands before running them through your hair, but why can't you pee without getting your hands wet. ;)

But if it makes it shiny... maybe you should launch your own range of shampoo & conditioner! :)

July 25, 2008 9:13 am  
Blogger Steven said...

I'm not peeing on them, but there's no way for anyone to have a slash without getting in contact with urine.

You all must use latex gloves, or something.

BTW, the hair shines like polished nickel.

July 25, 2008 9:38 am  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Ya know... you sometimes write about wondering why you are still single, I am starting to form an idea here. :P

July 25, 2008 2:35 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

I can understand why your hair is shiny, but doesn't it have a unique scent then? Perhaps one that attracts dogs to lift their legs when you bend down?

July 25, 2008 5:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if this 'problem' is the result of wearing kid's underwear.
Maybe he should back away from the urinal and sit down in a stall...of course, it could be some sort of fetish that he actually enjoys!


July 26, 2008 8:23 am  
Blogger Adam said...

I read an article once that said, if you shower regularly, such as in the morning before beginning the day, your dick is cleaner than your hands. In that case you should wash your hands before touching it, in addition to after emptying it.

July 26, 2008 4:41 pm  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

I swear, I'm able to pee without getting urine on my hands, not that it stops me from washing before touching my hair. (Besides, wet hands style hair better.)

I think you must be doing something wrong. Next time you're in town I'll examine your technique to see what you're doing wrong. Or is this some passive, roundabout way of telling everyone you're uncircumcised? I'm not familiar with how to pee using one of those things, maybe it takes a special technique or something.

July 28, 2008 3:51 pm  
Anonymous Liam said...

I'm still looking confused on this one gents........Maybe we need a video of you actually taking a piss so we could point out the dos and don'ts of taking a leak. I'm with the rest of you gents on this one, I pee without getting my fingers wet too???????

July 30, 2008 3:45 am  
Anonymous BRENT said...

Is this called watersports?

August 07, 2008 3:33 pm  
Anonymous Viagra Canada said...

I must say that Im never going to shake hands with no one again.

October 07, 2011 4:41 pm  

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