I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, August 22, 2008

I saw you on The Hills

The room is white and modern. There are four people sitting at the board room table: three executives and me. It's an interview and it's mine. It's going very well. I am knowledgeable, well-spoken, and charming. Things couldn't be better. That is, until the owner of the company tells me something I never expect to hear in any interview situation.

"I saw you on The Hills," she says.

"Uh... what?" stumbles out of my mouth. She catches me off guard. I am not expecting this.

"The Hills. I saw you on it." She turns towards the other two executives in the room. "You know, The Hills? Don't you watch The Hills?" They nod their heads in negation. She then turns towards me. My face is beet red. I am speechless and it takes a lot for that to happen.

"Uh... yeah. I was on the show." Who knew that being on a pop-culture phenomenon would be a negative on a job interview? I should've known that my quest for world domination by way of reality-based programming would turn against me.

For the next five minutes, I explain my reasons for being on the show and it's impact on society. Thankfully, I'm an exceptional speaker and don't choke when being presented with an experience that is as foreign to me as the illegal immigrant who provides me with my under-the-counter uppers.

"Ok, so enough with that. Are there any other questions?" I attempt to make a segueway, hoping they'll forget about the show. If ask me if I prefer Lauren over Heidi, then I'm up shit creek without a paddle because I know I won't have the answer to that open-ended question.


By the way, I got the job.


Blogger Steven said...

And, they asked me to be on the show in a couple weeks. I had to decline... because I'm going to be someplace with real celebrities.

August 22, 2008 12:17 am  
Blogger haliaeetusguys said...

Congradulations on getting the new position though it must have seemed otherwise for a bit there! - Volker

August 22, 2008 1:03 am  
Blogger Doghigh said...

Congratulations! Will the job be a relo for you?

And how did it come to be that you were on said show? Though I've heard of it I've never seen it...of course I am not exactly the demo they go for anyway...

August 22, 2008 12:19 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

Did you have to sleep with your boss just to get the job? I'm sure she had this celebrity-wannabe transference fantasy.

The things you do!

August 22, 2008 3:50 pm  
Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

I guess I am the only one who does not watch that show.

August 22, 2008 5:53 pm  
Blogger BRYAN AMBITION said...

CONGRATS, baby!! how are you?

August 22, 2008 8:32 pm  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Congrats Steven on the job!

I'm sorry, I have no clue what the Hills are, is it a show with actors or is it like 'big brother'? I should say, and no, I don't watch big brother either but I do know what it is about.

August 23, 2008 4:13 pm  
Blogger Dop said...

congrats hottie

August 23, 2008 4:26 pm  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

"Segway" is the brand name of those funny motorized vehicles, and "segue" means "to switch topics."

"Segue-way" is a charming new word that you've just invented, meaning "to violently wrest the topic of converstaion from someone else in order to distract her from the fact that you were once, shamefully, captured on a not-particularly-real reality TV program set in not-particularly-real Los Angeles."

If I'd known you were on that show, I might have tried to put up with watching it.

August 25, 2008 10:59 am  
Blogger hot-lunch said...


August 25, 2008 12:06 pm  
Blogger Stuck in the middle with GOD said...

Thats the best curve ball ever. LMAO

August 27, 2008 8:12 am  
Blogger Jay said...

Congrats. I've never actually watched an entire episode of the Hills lol.

Glad you got the job!

August 28, 2008 9:48 pm  

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