Rip off the bandaid

D has a problem and it's one he'd rather not have. There's someone interested in him but the interest is one-sided. This guy (who shall be called Asian Power Bottom, or APB for short) has been persistent in his persual of D. And, because of that, I'm thrown in the middle to act as mediator/counsellor.

On more than one occasion I hear "I don't want him to think I'm a douche" and "I don't want him to think I'm a bad guy" from D. I counteract that by saying D is being a douche because he's leading APB on.

Clearly D has no interest in APB, but he raises the hopes of APB by quickly replying to texts, answering calls and making up excuses about how he's "happy being single" and "not really into dating right now." Those are motivators for those who are agressive and who pounce given the chance.

From my experience, it's just easier and less painful to rip off the bandaid quickly. Sure it will sting, but only for a few seconds. Why let the wound fester? Cutting off the limb is the quickest way to stop the virus from spreading.

In the end, I tell him he's a grown man and will have to deal with whatever consequences that transpire from his inability to be upfront and tell APB he's not into him.

I doubt he listened to my advice since he met APB for drinks a few nights later...

Treated like a fag

While D and I are at the interior design show, I take a step away from the crowd and pull my phone out to text A. We've been chatting for a couple of days and I thought I'd send a little note about my night. What is supposed to be cute ends up turning ugly pretty quickly.

After a couple of texts, I call A. Naturally, it goes to voicemail since no one picks up their phone, anymore. I leave a message. There's a text reply insulting me. I'm called a fag. Not only that, the biggest fag A has ever come across. This is rich, coming from a (newly-described, by me) prick who doesn't have the balls to answer a phone call.

Now, I don't need to be treated like shit when I don't - and didn't - have any reason to be. It's like having someone of your own kind call you a derogatory term.

I'm not going to delve into a psychological profile of someone who - now - clearly doesn't deserve one. All I know is my friendly gesture was genuine, yet it was met with nastiness.

When I come across him in person on the street when hanging out with my friend D, I tell him what happened. D looks at me and gives me the 'THAT called YOU a fag?' face and keeps on walking. He's right. I deserve better.