I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Suck it

The beginning of a new year comes with a slew of resolutions that no one can comply with. It’s like a set of rules that are obscenely obscure; break them, and next thing you know, you’ve become the prison bitch to some guy named Bubba.

Instead of telling myself that I’ll be a better person (how can you improve on perfection?) or a nicer person (even I can’t say that out loud without having a good laugh), I’ve decided to simplify.

This year I only have one resolution.

I’ve decided to stop counting.

Of course, my accountant will hate me for it, but I know it’s something I can accomplish with a little bit of effort and a lot of denial.

Why denial?

Part one comes on January 10. Part two is inextricably linked with part one (and let’s say that part two’s number is a lot larger than part one’s).

But, it’s not the actual number that I’m (somewhat) iffy about, it’s the emotional and psychological baggage I have to carry with me. Will people remember? Will they call? Will they care? Will they surprise you with something? Will they surprise you with anything, at all?

On and on…

On the bright side, there is one thing I won’t have to worry about: I’ve stopped counting.

No more numbers.

And, if you think my new years’ resolution is stupid, well then, you can suck it.

You see? The resolution of being a nicer person doesn't work.

4 Comments:

Blogger jjd said...

My new years resolution of four years ago was to stop having new years resolutions. I must confess to being smashingly successful in keeping this resolution up until the present.

January 02, 2006 3:18 pm  
Blogger whatsthebuzz said...

Amen JJD!!! I resolved not to make resolutions as well! I do think about the coming year, and I DO make attempts at growing as a person...attempting to achieve more grace under pressure than I had the previous year...crap like that. Otherwise, screw the resolutions.

January 03, 2006 3:28 am  
Blogger Used Hack said...

I've been trying to think of a good "New Year's Resolutions" post and I'm drawing a blank. Usually by the weekend, I think most people forget about them altogether.

January 03, 2006 2:48 pm  
Anonymous newbie said...

I resolve to follow your work with a far more dogged effort!!!!!!!!

I resolve to follow you around, to find out where you "get" your inspiration and creativity, and bust in late at night, and steal summa your supply.

Happy New Year. late, as usual

January 04, 2006 8:20 pm  

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