Watch me dance

On the dancefloor, gonna lose it to the music
On the dancefloor, got my body, gonna use it

The words and music of this disco-inspired Kylie Minogue number throb through my brain whenever I want to move my body in a rhythmic fashion. Sometimes you don’t have the time or the place, but you have to make it happen.

At a typical wedding, the time is after the food is served and eaten, and the speeches have all been said, and the place is the centre of the ballroom.

When the dancefloor opens for business, it’s cha-ching for the movers and shakers. Unfortunately, most people perform the same set of steps: the side shuffle and the occasional hand raise and twirl for the adventurous.

I don’t dance like that.

Partly inspired from years of music videos and, most recently, So You Think You Can Dance, my moves are of a more - shall we say - entertaining nature.

When the beat drops, so do I.

From the booty bounce to the bump and grind, I do it all. Every move is dramatic and punctuated by a corresponding facial expression. After a few drinks, it gets more graphic. My hands move all over my body, through my hair and down my face. It’s not my intention to get attention in any way, but the music takes me an indescribable place.

But, not everyone is impressed.

Old people point and say back in their day people didn’t dance like that. Smug marrieds roll their eyes in disgust and agree to ask me to join them later on in their hotel room. People my age think I’m an attention whore. And, the bride and groom are wondering why they ever invited me in the first place.

Personally, I don’t care what they think of me. After tonight, the guests will never see me again. Oh what the hell, let them get a good look. Who cares about the bride? They’ve seen her all day, walking around in that dress, veil and bouquet. Now, it’s time to be entertained by something else.

Watch me dance.