White light
Developmental psychologists have proven there are more opportunities for bonding with a child if the child is physically closer to an adult, than a mile away. So, while I watch the ‘toons on TV with my niece, I’m usually on the floor with her so she won’t resent me for being emotionally distant when she becomes a teenager.
When I’m on my stomach, she sits on my bum and sometimes stands, balancing herself with me holding onto her hands. When I’m on my back, she sits on my stomach (which is really good, since I can flex my abs to avoid her crushing me).
She also enjoys sitting in the crook of my legs and lying back against my stomach. It’s better than a pillow, and I get to play with her wavy hair.
But, there’s a problem when she starts jumping on Uncle Steven’s lap.
Even though she’s not particularly heavy, one strategically-placed foot on my crotch and I can see white light in a snap. And, she doesn’t stop. It’s up and down. Jump, jump, jump. More and more. Time and time, again.
White light! White light! White light!
As she moves from one leg to another, I try to pick her up and place her on the ground. It doesn’t work. She continues to climb onto my legs and jump on my crotch.
Although I could chastise her for causing a dearth of physical damage to Uncle Steven’s Hummer, developmental psychologists would advise me to do otherwise. Then again, they'd reconsider that notion if they had her jumping on their crotches, too.
When I’m on my stomach, she sits on my bum and sometimes stands, balancing herself with me holding onto her hands. When I’m on my back, she sits on my stomach (which is really good, since I can flex my abs to avoid her crushing me).
She also enjoys sitting in the crook of my legs and lying back against my stomach. It’s better than a pillow, and I get to play with her wavy hair.
But, there’s a problem when she starts jumping on Uncle Steven’s lap.
Even though she’s not particularly heavy, one strategically-placed foot on my crotch and I can see white light in a snap. And, she doesn’t stop. It’s up and down. Jump, jump, jump. More and more. Time and time, again.
White light! White light! White light!
As she moves from one leg to another, I try to pick her up and place her on the ground. It doesn’t work. She continues to climb onto my legs and jump on my crotch.
Although I could chastise her for causing a dearth of physical damage to Uncle Steven’s Hummer, developmental psychologists would advise me to do otherwise. Then again, they'd reconsider that notion if they had her jumping on their crotches, too.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
10 Comments:
LOL - you had me in stitches. :D
Another moment of my insane jealous as you flexed your abs.
Didn't you know that children are taught to jump on men's crotches by their mothers while still in the womb? It's called revenge.
Hey! She's killing any chances of having a little cousin of her own.
You should probably post pics of your crotch, abs, and legs...so that I can assess if there's any damage to these areas...trust me, I'm a doctor...(evil grin)
That's hilarious. Good to see that you are physical with your niece....
pedantic arsehole coming through....
dearth = lack of
sorry, i can't help myself
Maybe one of those hard plastic cups that go inside of a jock strap would avert damage to the goods. We could play doctor, though, if it would make you feel better.
Anonymous: Oops. I should've written wealth, not dearth.
From now on, you will now be my personal dictionary/thesaurus.
E-mail me with your contact info.
The position is to be filled immediately.
my toes just curled reading this !
Early BDSM?
Post a Comment
<< Home