Simple ways to look younger

Every day, millions of people glance into the mirror in the morning and wonder how they can improve on the face that reflects back at them. They pull their skin back with their hands, they look for any white hairs that popped up overnight, and they wonder if they should get back in bed because they’re really getting depressed thinking about how old they look.

Very few people are able to slather on Crème de la Mer, get their colour done at the John Frieda salon, or have the occasional touch-up by Dr. Stephen Mullholland (on speed-dial, just in case) because they cost money. Lots and lots of cold, hard cash.

So, what do you do? Take out an extra line of credit? Mortgage the house? Make an amateur porn video and post it online, charging a small membership fee that entails repeat customers, allowing you to remain free-and-clear of the tax man knocking on your door?

None of the above.

In fact, the remedies are fast and easy.

Here is a list of items that are inexpensive, but not ineffective in looking younger:

- Slather on sunscreen before venturing outdoors because UV rays age you faster than a weekend bender with Britney Spears.
- Throw on a pair of sunglasses (they hide any visible “laugh lines” around your eyes while you squint to read anything printed with a small typeface).
- Get highlights to reflect light off your face (a.k.a. the Warren Beatty glow).
- Use light dimmers and candles when at home (see Warren Beatty glow, above).
- Dress appropriately for your age and body type (no one wants to see a 40-year-old trying to look 20 – it looks bad and sad).

And, if all else fails, just hang around people who look a hell of a lot older than you.

Fuck, it works for me.

Note: The reason why I write about this has nothing to do with my impending birthday on Wednesday. Purely coincidental.