I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Year view mirror

Looking into the year view mirror, you see the past 365 days speed by in a brisk clip, or idle in neutral. But, no matter what the velocity, times passes by, month by month…

January
Got older, not wiser. Got bitter, not better. Turned 25... again.

February
Started to hate Valentine’s day with a passion because no one told me they loved me. Passed over on a dream job because I didn’t have enough experience (only to find out, the new hire quit the job after one month). Noticed Human Nature turned one – no one came to the party.

March
Was fanatical over American Idol. Read and watched movies when wasn’t going on a series of job interviews and info sessions. Spent way too much time chasing an amazing fantasy job, only to lose it due to a serendipitous phone call. Began to wonder if God had a personal vendetta against me.

April
Sat on my ass and did nothing.

May
Went to L.A. Realized I had the power to make 30 million people hate me. Felt misunderstood and hopeless. Cried myself to sleep for a week, and was severely dehydrated (but my abs looked amazing). Lost five pounds in two days.

June
Saw my first, live concert. Started a new friendship. Got a 30-inch scratch on my car. Began a Monday-Friday posting schedule (wrote my second post about shit - the first about pink TP, this one was about black TP). Went to the circus.

July
Made my mother proud when I rode 32 inches down the middle of the city. Wrote about love and relationships – two things I know nothing about. Began a series of short stories that will – eventually – become a book. Tried to avoid the swealtering heat, so ended up watching more TV and movies at home. Started a new hobby of stripping in public.

August
Went to C’s wedding, had a great time, and was a form of entertainment/gossip for the guests. Noticed I am one of the only people who is single, not married, and without children amongst my tribe of friends/acquaintances. Fucked Best Buy. Got a few interesting phone calls. Was addicted to So You Think You Can Dance? Caught up with two former teachers from high school that I haven’t seen in a decade. Went through hell working on some home renos.

September
Began watching the fall season of new shows (which include Heroes and Project Runway). Met a seasoned (former) sex worker/porn star. Began a series of introspective “I…” posts. Had a terrible job interview (which rivals any unfunny sketch from SNL). Met up with a friend from university.

October
Went to my niece’s 2nd birthday party and noticed time flies in relation to young children. Removed 30 years worth of ugly from the spare room with a reno job (and was chastised). Spent a fortune getting my car serviced. Found out I am underqualified for a job that I did for countless years. Met a bunch of new people who weren’t scared off by me.

November
Understood what road-rage was all about, by experiencing it first hand. Wasn’t offered a job because the employer was undeniably short-sighted. Met someone who will make me ask questions for years. Visited a friend in her new house (and realized I am so far behind on my 30 before 30 list).

December
Had several people excommunicate me from their lives. Was sad. Finished my five bags of Hallowe’en candy. Was sad and five pounds heavier. Had five employment opportunities that I hope I don’t screw up. Was sad since I may have botched two of them. Spent the 31st reflecting on the past year…

So, to all my readers, friends, and acquaintances, let’s raise a glass of Veuve and to help bring in a better (and less shitty, because I don't have that much toilet paper lying around) 2007.

Cheers!

13 Comments:

Anonymous dell said...

Cheers!

January 01, 2007 12:58 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

I'm with you on a less shitty 2007. It's here, maybe we can just "decide" that it's good, and everything will fall into place. I'll promise not to sink into the quagmire of cynisism if you will, lol.

January 01, 2007 7:00 am  
Blogger Lemuel said...

Cheers! I'll toast to a less shitty 2007, too!

January 01, 2007 8:39 am  
Anonymous Glenn said...

Happy new year darlin'. 2007 will be much better.

January 01, 2007 9:34 am  
Anonymous scottk said...

amen less shitty would be great thank you very much

January 01, 2007 2:00 pm  
Blogger Sunshine said...

This is a great idea. I'll pinch it as soon as I have a moment. Thanks for the inspiration! :)

January 01, 2007 7:09 pm  
Blogger Timmy said...

best wishes in the new year for you Steven!

January 02, 2007 8:10 am  
Blogger knottyboy said...

While your ass was idle, my face was available in April. That's all I'm sayin.
kb

January 02, 2007 10:11 am  
Anonymous Kevin said...

Here's to a great and wonderful New Year!

January 02, 2007 10:11 am  
Blogger Shaney said...

Happy New Year Babe!!
I feel you in your desires for a better year ahead...Lets hope we ALL have a memorable funtastic 07...big hugs xox

January 02, 2007 9:59 pm  
Blogger Lewis said...

Beautiful, heart wrenching, tear jerking....leaves me crying and sad. I'm kidding. Sounds a little crazy, my friend. Let's hope for a different sort of mess in 2007. Hugs.

January 02, 2007 10:44 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

And Greg he writes letters
And burns his CDs
They say you were something in those formative years
Hold onto nothing
As fast as you can
Well... still...
Pretty good year

January 02, 2007 11:09 pm  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

can't say it wasn't an eventful year! all the best to u in 2007!

January 04, 2007 12:52 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home