Year view mirror
Looking into the year view mirror, you see the past 365 days speed by in a brisk clip, or idle in neutral. But, no matter what the velocity, times passes by, month by month…
January
Got older, not wiser. Got bitter, not better. Turned 25... again.
February
Started to hate Valentine’s day with a passion because no one told me they loved me. Passed over on a dream job because I didn’t have enough experience (only to find out, the new hire quit the job after one month). Noticed Human Nature turned one – no one came to the party.
March
Was fanatical over American Idol. Read and watched movies when wasn’t going on a series of job interviews and info sessions. Spent way too much time chasing an amazing fantasy job, only to lose it due to a serendipitous phone call. Began to wonder if God had a personal vendetta against me.
April
Sat on my ass and did nothing.
May
Went to L.A. Realized I had the power to make 30 million people hate me. Felt misunderstood and hopeless. Cried myself to sleep for a week, and was severely dehydrated (but my abs looked amazing). Lost five pounds in two days.
June
Saw my first, live concert. Started a new friendship. Got a 30-inch scratch on my car. Began a Monday-Friday posting schedule (wrote my second post about shit - the first about pink TP, this one was about black TP). Went to the circus.
July
Made my mother proud when I rode 32 inches down the middle of the city. Wrote about love and relationships – two things I know nothing about. Began a series of short stories that will – eventually – become a book. Tried to avoid the swealtering heat, so ended up watching more TV and movies at home. Started a new hobby of stripping in public.
August
Went to C’s wedding, had a great time, and was a form of entertainment/gossip for the guests. Noticed I am one of the only people who is single, not married, and without children amongst my tribe of friends/acquaintances. Fucked Best Buy. Got a few interesting phone calls. Was addicted to So You Think You Can Dance? Caught up with two former teachers from high school that I haven’t seen in a decade. Went through hell working on some home renos.
September
Began watching the fall season of new shows (which include Heroes and Project Runway). Met a seasoned (former) sex worker/porn star. Began a series of introspective “I…” posts. Had a terrible job interview (which rivals any unfunny sketch from SNL). Met up with a friend from university.
October
Went to my niece’s 2nd birthday party and noticed time flies in relation to young children. Removed 30 years worth of ugly from the spare room with a reno job (and was chastised). Spent a fortune getting my car serviced. Found out I am underqualified for a job that I did for countless years. Met a bunch of new people who weren’t scared off by me.
November
Understood what road-rage was all about, by experiencing it first hand. Wasn’t offered a job because the employer was undeniably short-sighted. Met someone who will make me ask questions for years. Visited a friend in her new house (and realized I am so far behind on my 30 before 30 list).
December
Had several people excommunicate me from their lives. Was sad. Finished my five bags of Hallowe’en candy. Was sad and five pounds heavier. Had five employment opportunities that I hope I don’t screw up. Was sad since I may have botched two of them. Spent the 31st reflecting on the past year…
So, to all my readers, friends, and acquaintances, let’s raise a glass of Veuve and to help bring in a better (and less shitty, because I don't have that much toilet paper lying around) 2007.
Cheers!
January
Got older, not wiser. Got bitter, not better. Turned 25... again.
February
Started to hate Valentine’s day with a passion because no one told me they loved me. Passed over on a dream job because I didn’t have enough experience (only to find out, the new hire quit the job after one month). Noticed Human Nature turned one – no one came to the party.
March
Was fanatical over American Idol. Read and watched movies when wasn’t going on a series of job interviews and info sessions. Spent way too much time chasing an amazing fantasy job, only to lose it due to a serendipitous phone call. Began to wonder if God had a personal vendetta against me.
April
Sat on my ass and did nothing.
May
Went to L.A. Realized I had the power to make 30 million people hate me. Felt misunderstood and hopeless. Cried myself to sleep for a week, and was severely dehydrated (but my abs looked amazing). Lost five pounds in two days.
June
Saw my first, live concert. Started a new friendship. Got a 30-inch scratch on my car. Began a Monday-Friday posting schedule (wrote my second post about shit - the first about pink TP, this one was about black TP). Went to the circus.
July
Made my mother proud when I rode 32 inches down the middle of the city. Wrote about love and relationships – two things I know nothing about. Began a series of short stories that will – eventually – become a book. Tried to avoid the swealtering heat, so ended up watching more TV and movies at home. Started a new hobby of stripping in public.
August
Went to C’s wedding, had a great time, and was a form of entertainment/gossip for the guests. Noticed I am one of the only people who is single, not married, and without children amongst my tribe of friends/acquaintances. Fucked Best Buy. Got a few interesting phone calls. Was addicted to So You Think You Can Dance? Caught up with two former teachers from high school that I haven’t seen in a decade. Went through hell working on some home renos.
September
Began watching the fall season of new shows (which include Heroes and Project Runway). Met a seasoned (former) sex worker/porn star. Began a series of introspective “I…” posts. Had a terrible job interview (which rivals any unfunny sketch from SNL). Met up with a friend from university.
October
Went to my niece’s 2nd birthday party and noticed time flies in relation to young children. Removed 30 years worth of ugly from the spare room with a reno job (and was chastised). Spent a fortune getting my car serviced. Found out I am underqualified for a job that I did for countless years. Met a bunch of new people who weren’t scared off by me.
November
Understood what road-rage was all about, by experiencing it first hand. Wasn’t offered a job because the employer was undeniably short-sighted. Met someone who will make me ask questions for years. Visited a friend in her new house (and realized I am so far behind on my 30 before 30 list).
December
Had several people excommunicate me from their lives. Was sad. Finished my five bags of Hallowe’en candy. Was sad and five pounds heavier. Had five employment opportunities that I hope I don’t screw up. Was sad since I may have botched two of them. Spent the 31st reflecting on the past year…
So, to all my readers, friends, and acquaintances, let’s raise a glass of Veuve and to help bring in a better (and less shitty, because I don't have that much toilet paper lying around) 2007.
Cheers!
Authored by S at 12:00 pm
13 Comments:
Cheers!
I'm with you on a less shitty 2007. It's here, maybe we can just "decide" that it's good, and everything will fall into place. I'll promise not to sink into the quagmire of cynisism if you will, lol.
Cheers! I'll toast to a less shitty 2007, too!
Happy new year darlin'. 2007 will be much better.
amen less shitty would be great thank you very much
This is a great idea. I'll pinch it as soon as I have a moment. Thanks for the inspiration! :)
best wishes in the new year for you Steven!
While your ass was idle, my face was available in April. That's all I'm sayin.
kb
Here's to a great and wonderful New Year!
Happy New Year Babe!!
I feel you in your desires for a better year ahead...Lets hope we ALL have a memorable funtastic 07...big hugs xox
Beautiful, heart wrenching, tear jerking....leaves me crying and sad. I'm kidding. Sounds a little crazy, my friend. Let's hope for a different sort of mess in 2007. Hugs.
And Greg he writes letters
And burns his CDs
They say you were something in those formative years
Hold onto nothing
As fast as you can
Well... still...
Pretty good year
can't say it wasn't an eventful year! all the best to u in 2007!
Post a Comment
<< Home