Sauce
There’s a single moment to capture the attention of someone else that you’ve had your eye on and it’s up to you to make the best of it.
**
When someone is eating BBQ wings, there will always be a drop of sauce that lands on the side of their mouth. Since they don’t realize it’s there (mostly because they’re scarfing down fatty pieces of chicken), the sauce is like a sweet spot that marks the opportunity for flirtation.
The ideal scenario entails telling them not to move, leaning towards them, extending your arm, taking your fingers (index and thumb) to wipe the sauce with one swipe, retracting your arm, bringing your fingers to your mouth and sucking on them nonchalantly.
But, I don’t do that.
Inevitably, I turn into my mother. I end up telling them they have something on the side of their mouth, pointing with my finger, doing the mad-cow tongue wag, picking up a napkin, moistening it with some saliva, reaching across the table, grabbing their face with one hand, and rubbing the spot with the spit-slick cloth just like she used to do with me when I was a kid.
Because, you know, that's like way hotter.
**
When someone is eating BBQ wings, there will always be a drop of sauce that lands on the side of their mouth. Since they don’t realize it’s there (mostly because they’re scarfing down fatty pieces of chicken), the sauce is like a sweet spot that marks the opportunity for flirtation.
The ideal scenario entails telling them not to move, leaning towards them, extending your arm, taking your fingers (index and thumb) to wipe the sauce with one swipe, retracting your arm, bringing your fingers to your mouth and sucking on them nonchalantly.
But, I don’t do that.
Inevitably, I turn into my mother. I end up telling them they have something on the side of their mouth, pointing with my finger, doing the mad-cow tongue wag, picking up a napkin, moistening it with some saliva, reaching across the table, grabbing their face with one hand, and rubbing the spot with the spit-slick cloth just like she used to do with me when I was a kid.
Because, you know, that's like way hotter.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
11 Comments:
Anytime you want to spit on me and then rub the spot, just let me know.
I think I'd prefer if you licked or sucked it off the corners of my mouth. :)
Mommy knows best!
heya babe, sorry I have been MIA lately...Kinda got the whole dizzy fit going on in my life...But hoepfully soon it will get better...hugs...xox
You could always text them to let them know about the BBQ spot. Then put one of these: ;-)
Hot. Saliva soaked Kleenex. Hot. Maybe a little hotter if said Kleenex were cleaning up red bean paste.
Great tip, Casanova :P
Just found your blog, great work, very funny and inciteful :)
Keep up the great work!
mama knows best...
I just remembered the scene from Ally McBeal with her daydream that her date's face is covered in gobs of salad dressing.
I do the opposite. I start the dry heaves because it's so disgusting if you can't keep the food IN your mouth instead of ON it. Then I get up and I leave them sitting there, dumbfounded.
(And to pick up the check. I mean, seriously, it's the least they can do.)
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