Say what you mean and mean what you say

For every courting ritual, there are a few tasks that need to be accomplished in order to achieve the final result… whatever it may be. Some are successful, while others, not so much.

One of the worst methods of courtship - ironically - is talking. There’s not enough of it, and when there is, no one knows what the hell the other person is saying.

Conversation goes around in circles, rolled-up in entendres. No one says what they want; it’s always shielded in code. But, not everyone knows how to read code, and some people don’t know how to read, at all.

Just say it, damnit. En anglais, por favor!

Only a Scottish toilet has been plugged more times than you. Your headboard has whittled its way down to a toothpick. There is a medical study at the Mayo Clinic that is using you as an example of how to cure multiple STIs at once.

Ok, being an asshole won’t help things, since there are other people's feelings to take into the equation.

But, put it out there. Lay it on the table in plain view. If you get hurt, know that it’s better that you know in the beginning than when you’re in a harness. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I like you. I’m not interested, thanks. You’re pretty hot. You’re not my type. Coffee, tea, or me? I won’t do caffeine and I won’t do you.

It’s simple when you want it to be. Make it easy for everyone to understand.

Time is of the essence, so make the best of it. You’re not getting any younger, you know.