I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Say what you mean and mean what you say

For every courting ritual, there are a few tasks that need to be accomplished in order to achieve the final result… whatever it may be. Some are successful, while others, not so much.

One of the worst methods of courtship - ironically - is talking. There’s not enough of it, and when there is, no one knows what the hell the other person is saying.

Conversation goes around in circles, rolled-up in entendres. No one says what they want; it’s always shielded in code. But, not everyone knows how to read code, and some people don’t know how to read, at all.

Just say it, damnit. En anglais, por favor!

Only a Scottish toilet has been plugged more times than you. Your headboard has whittled its way down to a toothpick. There is a medical study at the Mayo Clinic that is using you as an example of how to cure multiple STIs at once.

Ok, being an asshole won’t help things, since there are other people's feelings to take into the equation.

But, put it out there. Lay it on the table in plain view. If you get hurt, know that it’s better that you know in the beginning than when you’re in a harness. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I like you. I’m not interested, thanks. You’re pretty hot. You’re not my type. Coffee, tea, or me? I won’t do caffeine and I won’t do you.

It’s simple when you want it to be. Make it easy for everyone to understand.

Time is of the essence, so make the best of it. You’re not getting any younger, you know.


Blogger Knottyboy said...

Hi I'm Trix. You're hot. I like to spoon you or get forked whichever comes first.
*waits* Nothing huh? Damn it. I thought for sure this time I'd get some response, a throat clearing...anything. Why won't you let me get close to you? *whimpers* *whispers* let me in....*sniff*
p.s. I don't know who the hell this freak above was who wrote this comment but I'm sure is the Merlot talking. Please don't leave any marks when you beat me.

November 30, 2006 12:42 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

is this advice for you? for me?

November 30, 2006 7:25 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

So what are you trying to say?

November 30, 2006 9:47 am  
Blogger Pablo said...

It's never going to be that simple. NEVER.

November 30, 2006 10:24 am  
Blogger Steven said...

KB: You've made your request quite clear.

Timmy: It's for everyone, and it's free!

Six: I haven't the foggiest clue.

Pablo: Yes, it can because I say so!

November 30, 2006 1:31 pm  
Anonymous Jason said...

Didn't I do enough talking last time?

November 30, 2006 1:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha @ Jason.

No. I don't think it's that easy.

November 30, 2006 1:58 pm  
Anonymous Glenn said...

I repeat Six's question.

December 02, 2006 10:35 pm  

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