Deck the halls

It’s perfectly normal to be shopping in a store, packed to the brim with product and people. But, there’s something inherently wrong doing that out of season.

Walking through a store in October, seeing Hallowe’en candy and costumes on the shelves next to Christmas trees and cards is disconcerting.

Although I do realize stores lay out product almost two months in advance of actual holidays, it not only feels weird, but looks it, too. Who wants to think of Back to School during a July heatwave? Who wants to deck the halls while still wearing t-shirts? Who wants to look at heart-shaped chocolates in January after gaining 12 pounds over the holidays?

Not a fuckin’ person. No one. Nadie. Nessuno. Ninguém.

Store displays should correspond with the appropriate time of the year. Let it be cold when I’m buying things for the holidays. I want people to walk into the store with their coats and caps on, rubbing their hands together for warmth while stomping their feet on the slushy entrance mats. It’s more convincing. Just thinking of that smoosh sound snowy boots sends a chill up my spine.

Literally.

Although, I wouldn’t mind it being 25 degrees in December.

Note: It snowed last night. God works in mysterious ways. Bastard.