I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mixed messages

The main difference between humans and animals is the ability to speak. Unlike animals, humans are able to fuck up the most basic of communications by giving, receiving, and processing mixed messages.

There are times where women are guilty of reading into actions that mean one thing instead of another. We met for coffee means we’re going steady. We took a walk around the neighbourhood becomes we’re buying a house. We had sex turns into a wedding announcement in the Times.

You’d think that men don’t think that way, but you’re wrong. Some of them do, and they’re just as bad as women. You gave me a nasty look in a seedy bar means you want me. You didn’t throw a drink in my face when I slurred something dirty in your ear means you’re turned on by me. You stopped slapping my hand away after repeatedly groping you means you wanna get fucked by me.

But, in the end, when it comes to communications, it’s all about a ring: a diamond one for her, and a cock one for him.

Maybe Tiffany’s does both.

Note: I'm pretty clear in communicating with people, unless I'm being vague.

8 Comments:

Anonymous jason (from the U.S.) said...

oh GEEZ...just ONCE I'd like SOME guy that's NOT a vegan...

What's everyone got against Chicken????? I mean, really...everyone grabs them some chicken every so often. Is that so wrong??

(you wanna talk mixed messages, let's talk mixed messages.)

November 06, 2006 7:41 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

: a diamond one for her, and a cock one for him.


by "her" you meant Timmy, right?

November 06, 2006 8:45 am  
Blogger Lemuel said...

I'm glad you didn't include diamonds in the cock ring. euw! ouch! Unless, of course, you are into...

I've never been able to "read the signals" correctly. I always wrote it off to flaws in my gay card.

November 06, 2006 9:02 am  
Blogger liquid said...

so what you're saying is you don't like my sweater.

November 06, 2006 12:00 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

Men are from Mars
Women are from Venus

gay men are from... I dunno... Uranus? Another time/space plane? Alternate universe?

I

GIVE

UP

!

November 06, 2006 12:10 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

JUS: A meat-eating vegan? Does such a person exist?

Timmy: One carat big enough?

Lemuel: Ooh, ah, ouch, indeed.

Liquid: Your sweater? I never noticed you were wearing one.

MR: That was bad, MR.

November 06, 2006 3:12 pm  
Anonymous Jason said...

Ask vegans why they hate plants so much.

November 06, 2006 5:11 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

I'm confused.

November 07, 2006 9:30 am  

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