I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


The leaves from the trees that line the path that curls its way around the back of the apartment filters a soft green light through the windows of the living room. Occasionally, a subtle crunch is heard when people walk by, and a slight breeze flows through the open screens, fluttering the drapes.

While I’m lying on the couch, watching some TV, l hear a noise outside. First there are scratching sounds, like fingernails running across a rough, plastic surface. After a few seconds, there’s a thump, like a small drum being hit. It doesn’t sound as if it’s made by humans.

A minute later, it happens again. Then again. There’s a definite pattern.

As I rise from the couch, I pull half of the drapes back and look out the window. Nothing. No one is walking around, no one is playing a joke or looking into the apartment.

Lying back down on the couch, I hear the same noises again. It happens two more times before I get up to look.

Nothing. No one is there. It’s making me feel a little unsettled.

When I hear the noises one more time, I pull back the drapes while lying on the couch.

From my perspective, I can see a head of a squirrel, but two seconds later, it disappears.

Now kneeling on top of the sofa, I wait to see whether it comes back. It does. It comes running along the aluminium flashing of the window sill, stops, looks inside the apartment, whacks its head against the glass, bounces off, and falls to the ground.

Thumper must be looking for Bambi.

The mystery of the sounds is solved.

The squirrel thought since the wooded area behind the apartment reflected so perfectly in my spotless windows, the wooded area continued past the glass. Unfortunately, the squirrel was wrong.

That’s the bad thing about being on the ground floor of an apartment complex: there’s bound to be a nutty stranger looking inside your place.


Anonymous jason said...

A squirrel. Yeah, let's go with a squirrel.

You know people that practice the black arts can take on the appearance of animals. And, there are direct flights from Nashville to Toronto.

I'm just sayin'...

October 24, 2006 6:20 am  
Blogger Lemuel said...

Earlier this summer we had a morning dove fly into out sliding glass door for a similar reason. What a thud. It knocked itself out and landed on our deck. It flew off in a bit, but there was a perfect image of a dove in flight in a smudge on the glass until a hard rain washed it off.

October 24, 2006 6:43 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

LOL @ Jason!

Great post!

October 24, 2006 8:56 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

Better than having a starnger "nut" at your window.

October 24, 2006 10:09 am  
Blogger toobusyliving said...

Looking out my window I'm much more likely to see "bears."

October 24, 2006 10:34 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as they stay out there, squirrels are fine. We had some living in the ceiling once. Sleepless nightmare, that was.

October 24, 2006 10:54 am  
Blogger your judgemental aunt said...

I was just checking to make sure you were safe. I worry about you and like to check up on you. Maybe I'll go back to checking up on you when you're sleeping.

October 24, 2006 12:49 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

I hate you for having spotless windows.

(Just kidding.)

(Not really.)

October 24, 2006 1:35 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Jason: Yur nuts.

Lemuel: I had a bird fly into my windshield while driving down the highway. Let's just say RIP.

Timmy: Are you in cahoots with Jason?

Six: To-ma-to, to-mah-to.

TBL: That's a good one.

Salem: In your ceiling? That's as bad as rats in your walls.

YJA: And, I'll make sure to shut the drapes.

MR: I know you are. I know you are.

October 24, 2006 2:51 pm  
Anonymous Jason said...

MR, come to my house and clean my windows.

October 25, 2006 12:50 pm  

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