Eye contact

Ever since I was young, I was taught it wasn’t nice to stare. It’s rude and disrespectful, especially to elders and those of higher social and economic stature.

Unfortunately, my lidded eyes and high levels of concentration appears as if I'm burning a hole through someone. I can’t help it. It’s part of my face. If you don’t like it, blame Jesus and genetics.

People sometimes believe I’m participating in a staring match, and that’s not the case. A staring match demonstrates domination over others, and I’d rather demonstrate domination with my scathing words.

Recently, when talking to someone, I wanted to look up into their eyes, but couldn’t. At least, not initially.

When I’d look up, the other set of eyes were focused on mine. They made me feel uncomfortable because they wanted to scratch the surface, and I wasn’t ready to let anyone get near the polished veneer.

This was about forming a connection. Unfortunately, the signs that were leading me the right way, I read as roadblocks because of what I was taught.

When do you look up? When do you look down? Should you look to the side? What about their forehead, their mouths, their hair, their ears?

I don’t know.

Wouldn’t it just be easier if I was blind? At least I wouldn’t have to worry about eye contact.