I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Shit smears

In a public restroom, people do their most personal things in a stall. Whether it’s #1, #2, #3, changing clothes, or reading the paper, they want to do their business in private.

Personally I go there, sit down on the seat, pull out a small mirror from my bag, lay it down on my lap, take out the brown vial, jut out some powder, break up any clumps, and sniff.

It’s more discreet than doing it on the countertop.


As I’m walking into the restroom to do my (*sniff*) business, I walk into the stall and look into the bowl before deciding whether it’s clean. It’s not. Someone shit in it and didn’t flush twice. There are skid marks all over the bowl, and by the looks of it, baby had some corn for dinner last night.

So, I take a piece of TP, clean off the seat, throw it into the bowl and flush.

Before sitting down, I glance to the side and noticed some dark marks on the cream-coloured wall. My body leans over to get a closer look. With my eyes focused on the spots, I see what they are: shit smears.

I'm not sure what happened with the guy who used the stall before me.

Maybe he had an especially explosive shit, flying out of the bowl and hitting the wall. Maybe he went to grab a second piece of TP with his dirty fingers. Maybe he accidentally brushed against the previously soiled piece. Maybe he used his fingers to wipe his ass and needed some TP to clean them.

Whatever they did, it was just plain ol’ dirty (or was it shitty?).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to do #4.


Blogger Kevin said...

Huh. Explains a lot.

October 02, 2006 9:02 am  
Blogger Timmy said...


October 02, 2006 9:03 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Six and Indy: Yup and yup.

October 02, 2006 4:18 pm  
Anonymous jason said...

This kind of thing RIGHT HERE is why I don't like using public restrooms. Unless it's an emergency...uh uh, ain't happenin'.


October 02, 2006 9:26 pm  
Blogger Lemuel said...

Evidence of an "accident" in a public restroom I can accept. I do not like, but I accept. But even someone having an "accident" who also has some decency will attempt to clean it up.

I do not accept and I cannot understand people who go into a public restroom and maliciously mess it up. I think there is a wall and a bullet waiting for them somewhere.

October 03, 2006 7:02 am  
Blogger Nathan said...

you poor thing, that is so gross.... but a hilarious story for those of us who didn't have to witness it first hand.

October 04, 2006 11:33 am  

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