I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

You don't know me

While hanging around the kitchen, my friend N and I shoot the shit about the latest adventures in our ever-interesting lives. We exchange a few horror stories, and when I tell her about a recent exploit, it elicits a quick reaction.

“You always surprise me,” N says, taken aback.

“Why would you say that?” I casually ask.

“Well, when I think I know you, you say or do something that doesn’t sound anything like you.”

“Hmmm…” I raise an eyebrow, turn around and attend to the food on the stove.

Truth be known, no one ever knows anyone else. You never can.

How is this possible? Two reasons: you only divulge what you want, if you want divulge anything about yourself, and; you never really know yourself, since life is an ongoing journey of personal growth, which correlates with self-discovery.

I continually ask questions that make me think. With questions, comes thought, and with thought comes answers. They may never be the smartest of questions or the most brilliant of answers, but at least I'm making an effort to churn the wheels inside my head.

You don’t know me and you never will.

Fuck, I don’t even know myself. I will never know myself, and I abhor people who claim to know me. Even though I write about what goes on in my life, it's difficult to know what goes on inside my head.

And, if you think you know me better than I know myself, than please tell me ‘cause there are a few questions I'd like answered.

7 Comments:

Blogger tornwordo said...

They say you can know God by knowing yourself. If you believe in that sort of thing.

September 27, 2006 7:15 am  
Blogger Tom said...

I always thought the same, we (our likes, dislikes, preferences, and overall demeanor) change as we are exposed to people and things. What we liked last week we may dislike this week (maybe it's just a part of being gay? or human?)maybe it's just being fickle...

Regardless, I think I know myself pretty well, and also know that I am dynamically open to adjustment.

Love the post...

Tom

September 27, 2006 10:07 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

Dude, I SO know you.

September 27, 2006 10:11 am  
Blogger Knottyboy said...

Who are you? And why are you wearing a feather boa? Can I borrow it?

It's plain that most of us use just enough truth to get people close and then as the time lenghthens and the wine flows we let unblurred pics of our lives slip onto the coffee table for all to see. Sometimes we think better of it and slip them back into our jacket pocket and grab our keys to head home. But you never know if you don't try, hell they might have stories of their own to tell. Might give you some things to try on your own.
kb

September 27, 2006 10:34 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

what is it that I can help you with, my son?

September 27, 2006 10:37 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Torn: I guess I'll never know God. A shame, really. He sounds like a nice guy.

Tom: I find that if I discover something new about myself once in a while, it's refreshing in a way.

Six: Dude, you so wish.

KB: The photos are blurry for a reason... no concrete evidence.

Indy: You sound like Yoda.

September 27, 2006 5:23 pm  
Blogger Not so Single Guy said...

who are we? Who is the real us? I wrote that about that today too...

The whole world is a stage and we are all players!

September 27, 2006 10:59 pm  

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