I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Always imitated, never duplicated

It has been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So, what happens when the copycats are inferior to the original?

Recently, as I was conversing with a non-Canadian, he brought up the state of Canadian television and one show in particular, DaVinci’s Inquest. I had to tell him that it was cancelled, along with almost every other prime time television program that wasn’t the news, or a comedy satire.

Karaoke, uh, Canadian Idol and Canada’s Next Top Model are exceptions to the rule, but they don’t count since they’re crappy copies of U.S. shows.

Why is it that the only kind of successful programming on Canadian television is that of loosely-scripted shows? Why can’t they create shows that people will watch?

If they want “reality” shows, what about…

Survivor: Tim Hortons – grouchy people must make their chocolate dipped donuts and double-double coffee using only asbestos and dirty well water during the morning rush hour.

So You Think You Can Figure Skate – aspiring skaters from ice-deprived lands fulfill their dream of dancing on ice while participating in challenges like creating a performance outfit from fur pelts and glitter.

If the networks require original, scripted programming, take a gander at…

Oot of the Closet – the Olsen twins are stylish sleuths that solve mysteries of parliament, each week featuring one of their super-skeletal friends (Lindsay, Nicole) that sniff around for clues.

Bitch Slap Shot – hockey players must settle for a life of domesticity (due to contract negotiations) by sharpening up their domestic skills without ice skates and making the kids outfits from their old team jerseys (no shoulder pads!), while their wives earn the $$.

Nah. Won’t ever happen.

Even though Canada has incredible talent (both in front and behind the camera), these shows would never make it to air for one reason: money.

Maybe they should just make CSI: Canada, shut up, be polite and let the ratings go through the roof.


Blogger tornwordo said...

Oot of the closet made me laugh.

September 14, 2006 5:46 am  
Anonymous jason said...

You know, you could have a design show for lumberjacks called "Aboot the Hoose". A Canadian friend and I have been toying with that idea for some time now.

September 14, 2006 7:46 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

They've had Skating with the Stars down here ... not a far cry from So You Think You Can ...

September 14, 2006 8:59 am  
Blogger Dantallion said...

CSI Canada. Starring Don Cherry and Pamela Anderson, no doubt. (3 boobs for the price of 2 and all that). The theme song would most definitely have to be "Who Are You", no?

September 14, 2006 10:02 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Torn: Thanks, I tried.

Jason: That's a good one. Really. I'd watch it (since I am already glued to HGTV).

Six: My point was that "everyone" knows how to skate in Canada, so to find people who don't... Ah, forget it.

Dan: Funny. Three boobs for the price of one. They'd all be HUGE!

September 14, 2006 11:20 am  
Blogger Jimmi said...

I have the answer; all your Canadian’s come down here to the states and do television, music and movies. You guys need a Hollysotia or Tororntowood. The funny thing is, we get all our programming ideas from the British so basically we are saying that we have no original ideas down here either, ha ha

Honestly I think "Reality TV" has gotten out of hand and everyone is trying to think of the next "BIG MONEY MAKER" and it is really silly. We have everything from "Surviving on an Island, to Designing a dress, to a workout show, then a show about interior designers, and one to show you how to raise your kids, then one about extreme plastic surgeries, and it goes on and on... I call this not "Reality TV" but "Mindless TV". You really don't have to have more than a 3rd grade education to watch it. I have to be honest though, I do have a few favorites and anyone that says they don't is lying!!!! LOL What ever happened to the good old days when "Reality TV" was only "The Real World" and "Cops"...?

My Favorite Reality (Mindless) Shows:
Project Runway
Amazing Race

September 14, 2006 6:19 pm  
Blogger J (Me) said...

Yeah, i think that's the reason why scripted tv shows work in the USA, TV Networks have money and are not afraid to invest on them (and they are good trying to sell their products around the world).

September 14, 2006 6:48 pm  

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