I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, September 15, 2006

A tale of two innies

The recent cold snap has affected everyone. No one was expecting the month of September to bring a drastic transition in the weather. The temperatures can drop by 5-10 degrees from one day to the next, while falling 10 degrees from day to night.

It’s nippy in the worst possible way.

You can almost hear the “you know it’s cold when…” stories popping up in conversations, although my physical observations are of a more engrossing – human – nature.

My body knows it’s cold when…

I wear a t-shirt and pyjama pants instead of almost nothing to bed.
I sleep in a fetal position under the blankets instead of spread-eagle on top of them.
I wear a sweater instead of going shirtless, and pants instead of ratty shorts.
I have nipples that can cut glass.
I wear underwear to keep it warm.

The last one is probably the worst of all. In no way do I walk around without any testicular support on a regular basis, but it’s so comfortable (and it’s another layer of clothing that doesn’t need to be worn and washed).

Unfortunately, with a cold snap, you don't want to have something break off due to a nasty case of frostbite, or have two innies instead of one.


Anonymous jason said...

You should move down here. It's still in the 80's (between 26-28 C) for at least another 6 weeks. Even in the winter, it rarely gets below 0C, and usually the highs are in the mid 40's to mid 50's (low to mid teens C).

If you can stand the humidity. *wrings out shirt*

September 15, 2006 8:06 am  
Anonymous Glenn said...

Cold snap? What cold snap? I spent an hour outside yesterday and it was hot as hell!


September 15, 2006 8:27 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

I actually wore long underwear Wednesday, lol.

September 15, 2006 8:36 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

That was a visual I did not need.

(Although the free-ballin' one is up for discussion.)

September 15, 2006 8:53 am  
Blogger Lemuel said...

Consider a situation of having less than a - ahem - sizeable investment and signficantly reduced temperatures. David Copperfield could not do a better disappearing act than my little guy.

September 15, 2006 11:56 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Jason and Glenn: Do you want me to dislike you? Seriously. I'm this (*holds two fingers together*) close...

Torn: I haven't gone to that extreme, but I do own longjohns for those freezing days.

Six: What visual?

Lemuel: I don't know what to say to that.

September 15, 2006 2:41 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

Any and all visuals ... as stated in your post.


September 15, 2006 3:04 pm  

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