I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Too hot, too cold, just right

When Goldilocks went traipsing through the woods, she happened on a charming little cottage, inhabited by three bears. Upon entering, the smell of porridge welcomed her like a long lost - and hungry - relative. As she sat at the table, she passed the first two bowls, citing them as too hot and too cold, but the third one was just right.

So, she worked it like a double-jointed lap dancer.

But, Goldilocks was fortunate enough to choose between three bowls of porridge. Many of us aren’t that lucky. Sometimes there are only two bowls, and other times, only one. Instead of sitting down, many people would rather skip the meal because it’s not exactly what they ordered.

In a way, the aforementioned fairy tale is a lot like life.

You leave a mate because they have an annoying habit. Your friend isn't approved of in your social circles, so you pretend they don't exist. Your job isn’t the one you planned for, so you do it half-assed. You spend hours in the gym because you never feel buff enough. Your walls are painted several times because you can’t find the right shade of beige.

And on and on…

It seems like no one is ever satisfied with good enough on the road to perfection.

But, consider the alternative.

What would’ve happened if Goldilocks never had that third bowl of porridge? Would she have passed the first two? Who knows? She never gave the other bowls a chance. Too hot? Wait for it to cool down, or throw it in the fridge for a few seconds. Too cold? Nuke it in the microwave. And, if those two fail, add the two bowls together, mix the contents et voila, the perfect porridge!

You miss out on so much by passing on potential. If you don’t like something the way it is, try to change it. No one is born perfect. No one dies perfect. Be happy for what you have. You have so much more than you know.

Lord knows I’m a big ol’ bag of misery, but at least I can adapt to those other happy fuckers who are around me without having to resort to homicide.

Eh, maybe I just need to take a walk through the woods…

Note: Anyway, that bitch, Goldilocks, deserved what she got when those bears mauled her ass.


Blogger Lemuel said...

Have you ever considered the possibility that Goldilocks was really a guy in drag? I'm not sayin', I just saying.

September 20, 2006 6:54 am  
Blogger Jeff said...

But what would have happened in Goldilocks had FOUR bowls of porridge infront of her? Why did the creator of the story only give her three? Talk about imperfection. That story should be re-written until they get it right in my opinion. That and Red Riding Hood Too! I mean WHY was it a wolf that scares Red Riding Hood? Could it not be a moose? Or an Elk? Or what about a Caribou? You know the possibilities are endless. Darn fairy tales, so one-sided and restricting!

September 20, 2006 10:09 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

But I don't like porridge.

September 20, 2006 10:56 am  
Blogger Knottyboy said...

I wouldn't call you a BAG of misery, more like a satchel or a carry-on. Hell when you get dressed up to trip the light fantastic you're more of a Bob Mackie beaded clutch...you know the one's where there's only enough room for your credit card and your fave shade of lip tint.

September 20, 2006 11:08 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

Great perspective!

I think she got what she deserved too.

September 20, 2006 11:44 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Lemuel: Goldilocks in drag? Uh, no. Never came across my mind.

Jeff: You thought about this way more than I did. You must've loved doing extra-credit assignments in school, right?

Six: Do I look like Tyler Florence? You don't like porridge, you don't eat (*impersonating my mother*).

KB: A satchel of misery? Doesn't have the same ring to it.

Indy: I know. Goldilocks is such a self-righteous, goody-two-shoes.

September 20, 2006 1:03 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

Ummm, do I have to answer that?

(who is Tyler Florence?)

September 20, 2006 1:38 pm  
Blogger Jeff said...

I never went to school. I'm just naturaly gifted.

September 20, 2006 5:15 pm  
Anonymous Glenn said...

So on point, Steve. Great post. But I'm not a big fan of porridge either. Can I have cookies instead?

September 20, 2006 7:23 pm  
Anonymous jason said...

Query: What if the potential constantly bites you square in the ass (and not in the good way)?

September 20, 2006 8:45 pm  

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