I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


It’s break time, and V and I are walking the hallways of the USC building before class restarts. These precious minutes help us escape education, stretch our legs and breathe some fresh air.

While we’re making our way towards the classroom, V steps behind me and says something.

“Steven, you have a spot on your pants.”

“What?” I look down past my cream-and-navy-striped shirt towards the floor.

“A spot. A spot on your pants.”

“Where?” I look down at my cream pants. They better not be dirty. I hate getting light-coloured clothes dirty. It’s such a pain to get them clean.

“Here,” I hear her say.

Where?” I turn twice like a dog chasing its tail.

Here,” she points to a place on my left butt cheek.

I don’t see any spot on my pants. I pull away the fabric from my butt and the spot disappears. I let the fabric drop, and a dark spot appears. I do this several times until it clicks in.

Now, I know about the mystery of the spot.

Before coming to class, I was wearing a different t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. Underneath the shorts, I had on dark underwear. When changing clothes, I didn’t change underwear (they were clean). But, I never realized these pants were sheer enough that you could see through them.

“They’re my underwear,” I sheepishly tell V.

“What?” she asks.

“My underwear,” I say loudly and wave my hands to the side. A few people turn around. “I forgot to change to a light-coloured pair.”

“Oh.” She looks down.

“I’ll just pull my shirt out and stretch it over my backside so no one can notice,” I say as I pull down the shirt over the pants. “And if anyone mentions the spot again, then I’ll know they’ve been checking out my ass…”


Blogger Lemuel said...

...and a mighty fine one, I'll bet it is!

don't fight it, Steven, own it! LOL!

October 17, 2006 6:37 am  
Blogger toobusyliving said...

White underwear. always.

October 17, 2006 6:49 am  
Blogger liquid said...

I don't own even a single pair of light coloured underwear. Maybe that would explain the funny looks I get sometimes.

October 17, 2006 8:12 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

I can see your bum!

October 17, 2006 8:28 am  
Anonymous dell said...

Just turn the other cheek :)

October 17, 2006 12:07 pm  
Anonymous raph said...

well, lady mcbeth, are you going to answer the question that i had jason ask you?


October 17, 2006 12:39 pm  
Anonymous Jason said...

Send me a pic of this spot. And what is USC (cause I know you are not in So.Cal.)?

October 17, 2006 1:35 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Lemuel: I do own it since I lost the receipt and can't return it.

TBL: Unfortunately, I don't think I own any.

Liquid: Only if you're wearing light coloured pants, like me.

Indy: So can everyone else, apparently.

Dell: That was a bad one. Can you hear me laughing?

Raph: Uh, no.

Jason: USC is a building at my Uni. As for the other question... nope.

October 17, 2006 2:21 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

Next time ... no undies at all.

Freeballin', baby!

October 17, 2006 2:54 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Six: No friggin' way. The pants were sheer-ish. Ugh. No.

October 17, 2006 11:07 pm  
Blogger Jason said...

I'm still waiting for my pic of your butt.

October 19, 2006 12:23 pm  
Blogger your judgemental aunt said...

I see London
I see France
I see Steven's underpants!

October 19, 2006 5:13 pm  

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