I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Call me a bitch 'cause I speak what's on my mind

Guess it’s easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled...

Christina Aguilera sings Can’t Hold Us Down as an anthem of standing your ground. The lyrics are hard, speaking up for yourself and never laying low for something you believe in.

Unfortunately, some people voice their opinions, even if no one asks for them. They’re ostracized and are often the black sheep of the family. Being a black sheep myself (it’s slimming and goes with everything), I know outcasts need to stick together.


For my friend C’s wedding, I go alone due to my date cancelling two days before the out-of-town trip. Since I’m a singleton by default, I spend the day with the bridal party and become a member of the family by proxy.

Throughout the day, I follow the bridal party and end up becoming the unofficial date of her sister, D. This, I later find out, is a blessing to everyone, because someone needs to watch over her.

D is like the little voice inside your head that comes to life. And this voice is loud. She speaks her mind, often, and there’s no mute button.

When driving around the city, looking for parking, we pass by a wedding that’s exiting the church.

“Well, there’s a fat people wedding,” she says of the zaftigs.

“Don’t say that,” I say between a smirk.

“Well, they are fat. I can’t do anything about that,” she replies.


As she’s pointing out the bride’s invitees, she says out loud, “His nickname is Gargamel, like from the Smurfs. Just take a look at him and you’ll know why,” when describing one bald groomsman, and, “That’s my cousin Heidi-Ho. There’s a good reason why we call her that.” I can imagine why, although, I think her real name is Maria.

At the reception, she never stops talking to the point that our table is agape with shock at some of the things she says.

“When I was your age, I would never say things like that,” says D’s godmother.

“When you were my age, you didn’t say anything because you were afraid the secret police would come after you in the middle of the night and take you away,” snaps D back, pointing at her godmother.


She has the biggest set of balls I’ve ever seen on anyone.

Not only doesn’t she care about what she says, but she isn’t afraid of the repercussions. Whether you agree or disagree with her, she’ll stand her ground. She’s strong, intelligent. She doesn’t care what you think, and for that, I'm in awe of her.

Call her a bitch ‘cause she speaks what’s on her mind, but beware of what she says afterwards.


Blogger Lemuel said...

I have always appreciated "truth-speakers" and I demand that of my friends. I want them to speak the truth I need to hear to me.

However, having said that, I find this woman plainly obnoxious. It is not that she speaks the truth, but that she speaks her truth inappropriately.

What do I mean by that? If she thinks I am fat (or if she does not like the way I dress, or...), I want her to tell ME. Of what benefit is it to broadcast that "truth" to the world? It may be of benefit to me, if she speaks it to me. I can use that information to improve myself.

If she has an opinion of someone, then she needs to speak her opinion to that someone. She does not need to tell me.

Although she and others may think that she is bravely speaking the truth, I see in her conduct a most abject form of cowardice.

November 03, 2006 8:53 am  
Blogger Steven said...

She wasn't irritating, just shocking, I guess.

You couldn't help but let her rip (not to everyone, just me). It was like watching a car accident happen in real time.

True, she was a bit over the top, but you have to give her credit for not caring what others say, especially in such a PC world.

And, I doubt she'd ever say anything about your weight or looks.

November 03, 2006 9:54 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

I love her already.

November 03, 2006 10:39 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being truthful, forward and having an opinion are great. TACT is even better and it seems she's lacking that altogether.

What good did it do to call that wedding 'a fat person wedding'. No one heard her but you - and even if they had i'm pretty sure they know they're heavy - and her comments at dinner would have made me get up and walk away not really out of anger but just in an 'i could care less what comes out of her mouth' way.

Not to sound too cliche but she sounds like a bully who gets off on insulting other people. ... self-reinforcing behaviour...

November 03, 2006 11:33 am  
Blogger Normlr said...

That sounded FUN! It's fun to spend a day with people like that. Any more than that and I'd end up slapping them. Just like I have to turn and slap my bf every once in a while. Though I'm no angel either.

November 03, 2006 12:06 pm  
Blogger your judgemental aunt said...

She didn't have a date huh? No family members pawned her off on a stranger? Funny.

November 03, 2006 1:09 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

I think her retort to the godmother is pretty funny.

November 03, 2006 1:30 pm  
Blogger Earl said...

Weddings are generally lame...it sounds like you had your own entertainment though.

November 03, 2006 1:42 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Timmy: She's an acquired taste. Like arsenic.

Anon: Her bark is worse than her bite. Really.

Normlr: Everything in small doses is good.

YJA: I was her date by proxy. I was the stranger. Hey, what are you getting at??

MR: It was so funny, I almost spit out my wine.

Earl: She made me forget about the cash bar... almost.

November 03, 2006 2:21 pm  
Blogger Timmy said...

mmmmmmmmm, cash bar!

November 03, 2006 2:50 pm  
Blogger liquid said...

Personally, I like the direct approach - I respect it. I wish more people were. But as intelligent, witty, and ballsy as she may be, if her directness crosses the line into unprovoked cruelty (and I'm not saying that it did - I wasn't there), then it's not particularly clever at all, and certainly not worthy of any respect.

November 03, 2006 4:08 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Timmy: Cash bar sucks and blows.

Liquid: She's not cruel, but vocal - no mute button. It's like the id personified.

November 03, 2006 7:20 pm  
Anonymous Jason said...

That wasn't very nice of her to point out that I was having a fat person wedding.

And stop stalking me.

November 06, 2006 5:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a Bitch! I can't stand people like that. This girl is probabl;y going nowhere in life and will end up alone. People like that deserve what they get. Dude how can you be her friend?

December 03, 2006 9:30 am  
Anonymous viagra online said...

I agree with you, I have called a bith when I speak what's on my mind and the other people are not agree with me, so I think that it is a big foolishness.

January 05, 2011 3:29 pm  
Anonymous online pharmacy said...

I don't know, I think in my personal opinion that we should say what we think all time, and what I read in here is the prove of it.

January 11, 2012 12:14 pm  

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