I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Trading spaces with reality

Being someone who has always been interested in the creative aspects of design, HGTV has been both a godsend and a curse of massive proportions.

After watching any show, you’re inspired to go out and redecorate/renovate a room in your home. A little paint here, some throw pillows there, and you feel like your place should be photographed for House & Home.

If only it was that easy.

So many of these shows don’t show their viewers the nitty gritty; what lies beneath the surface. Old wires cause fires, asbestos isn’t your friend, and the removal of a load-bearing wall effectively collapses the backside of your home in slow-motion.

Most important, they never mention…

You can’t do 95% of the stuff yourself.
Even if you own every B&D power tool, you’re still not Bob Vila.
Nothing is ever completed in a ½ hour show.
It will take months longer than you planned.
For $1,000, your place will look like crap.
Renovations cost money – HUGE amounts of moolah.
You will spend at least 20 % more than you bargained for.
Designers will make you feel stupid because you don’t know the difference between Art Deco and Art Moderne (the main difference is an angularity in the finishing details).
Designers will make you think you have no taste.
Designers will coax you into buying a $20,000 sectional sofa from Knoll even though you’re aesthetic isn’t monastic modernism.

And, that’s only the tip of the iceberg blue paint, courtesy of Sherwin Williams.

I could go on, but Design Inc. is on and I want to watch Sarah Richardson do her thing, then I’m off to Home Depot to get me some wood and build something using my power tools.


Blogger Lemuel said...

Oh, you are SO singing my song today!

November 22, 2006 5:54 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

I know first had that renovations are way harder and more costly than the shows make it seem. I wish my house was done. Thanks for making me feel lazy and inadequate.

November 22, 2006 8:05 am  
Blogger HAIRYBEARS said...


November 22, 2006 9:19 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

Heh. I got wood at Home Depot once.

November 22, 2006 9:36 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only use those shows serve is to provide a fantasy OR to laugh at other people's problems.

so which is it for you?

November 22, 2006 10:12 am  
Blogger Pablo said...

Will you build me something?

November 22, 2006 11:43 am  
Blogger liquid said...

even though you’re aesthetic isn’t monastic modernism

aw c'mon...now you're just making this shit up....

November 22, 2006 11:47 am  
Blogger your judgemental aunt said...

I can build things!!! I haven't in a long time but I used to build bookcases, benches, chairs, cabinets, ect. with my dad and grandfather. Sometimes we even did some metal work. It's not that hard when you have the tools and the space. I have neither now.

November 22, 2006 12:20 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Lemuel: Am I off-key?

Timmy: It's my pleasure.

HB: Thanks.

Six: Splinters?

Salem: For me, fantasy. But, I gotta admit it's funny to watch some clueless person tackling some DIY shit.

Pablo: I'm good at stripping stuff.

Liquid: Monastic Modernism is my term! It's a place that's concrete, glass, etc. with one religious figure in the middle of it all.

YJA: Wouldn't mind building stuff, but where would I put it all?

November 22, 2006 3:07 pm  
Anonymous scottk122 said...

Wow Power tools are you sure you no a lesbian in gay mans clothing ??

November 26, 2006 5:41 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

I was in The Shoe Company (Yonge & Bloor) on Thursday... saw a "Mike Holmes" line of footwear.

SO depressing.

November 27, 2006 4:01 pm  

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