Cut off
In every relationship, there is a time when things end and moving on is the only logical option. If it’s done diplomatically, hopefully no ill feelings will be felt towards one another.
Then there are times when one person cuts the other person off with no good reason. No more phone calls given or received, no more e-mails written or replied, no more house visits with baskets full of goodies.
Unfortunately, they’re not severing a limb to stop gangrene from settling in, but ending something that involves another person.
But, doesn’t the other person have a say in this, or at least know why it’s done and over?
Personally, I begin to wonder what I did wrong, thinking I’m the guilty party. But, after sobering up, I know there are (or is it were?) two parties involved. What is the problem? It can’t be entirely my fault, can it? And if it is, what can I do to remedy the situation? I can change. What if it’s the other person? What are they going through? Can I help? What can I do?
There is a lack of communication between two people, but since one of them doesn’t acknowledge the existence of the other, how can it be resolved?
I don't know. I just need an answer. Any answer.
Then there are times when one person cuts the other person off with no good reason. No more phone calls given or received, no more e-mails written or replied, no more house visits with baskets full of goodies.
Unfortunately, they’re not severing a limb to stop gangrene from settling in, but ending something that involves another person.
But, doesn’t the other person have a say in this, or at least know why it’s done and over?
Personally, I begin to wonder what I did wrong, thinking I’m the guilty party. But, after sobering up, I know there are (or is it were?) two parties involved. What is the problem? It can’t be entirely my fault, can it? And if it is, what can I do to remedy the situation? I can change. What if it’s the other person? What are they going through? Can I help? What can I do?
There is a lack of communication between two people, but since one of them doesn’t acknowledge the existence of the other, how can it be resolved?
I don't know. I just need an answer. Any answer.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
11 Comments:
I had that done to me by an ex - in fact, an ex I thought would be the love of my life. For what it's worth, write them a letter. That way, you get to vent your emotions and organise your thoughts. In the end, who cares if they write back. *hugz*
Many times when this happens in a relationship it is the party that does the cut off that has the problem, or the greater problem. It is something that they cannot face, and rather than face it (face the ugly truth about themselves) they cut off communication and the relationship in an attempt to shift the guilt away from themselves an onto the other. It is a kind of personality defense mechanism and not unrelated to a situation where someone walks out of a discussion or argument rather than talk it out (assuming the other party is willing to discuss the problem rationally).
Try not to let it fester with you, Steven. As best you can, if you cannot reestablish communication to talk about it, move on. I am guessing that, if the relationship had not ended now, it would have ended shortly down the road anyway.
if the lines of communication have been severed by the other party, there really isnt much you can do. sucks.
It's as if I wrote this myself.
Oh and an FYI - men suck.
It's true that an end to communication with no explanation is rude. There should be something said as to why this happened...even if it is a simple, "I don't really know, it just isn't working for me."
I've been on both sides of this...however, it is mean to not acknowledge the other person. I don't know what to say. There really is nothing you can do.
It's easier to say this than to do it, but you have to not worry about things you can not control.
As Dan Savage pointed out, if someone isn't returning your calls there is always the possibility that they have two broken legs and are crawling across the floor desparately trying to reach the phone. But it's probably more likely the person just isn't that into you anymore. In your case I hope it's the former.
Been on both sides of it from time to time. Some people can be diplomats (that's why they go on to become Secretary's of State or another diplomatic post). Other's wouldn't know what "diplomat" meant if it were all of the way up their ass and half-way out of their mouth. Takes all types..unfortunately, the rest of us have to deal with 'em. Love you lots Steven....big hugs!
That's just plain rude. The other person at least owes you an explanation, or an "I don't want to see you anymore." Consider yourself fortunate. Would you really want to be with someone who could be so selfish?
I've completely cut out all my exes from my life. No communication at all. However, there is absolutely no doubt in their minds as to why I no longer want anything to do with them. I made that perfectly clear.
I'm someone who needs closure (being stubborn, and all) in order to move on.
No, I won't change, so don't bother to ask me (see stubborn, above).
Sometimes it is necessary for one or both people to heal. Physically and mentally.
Sometimes the healing is accomplished on one side, and not on the other.
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