Sink or swim

This week is one of the most difficult I will have to live through, at least from a business perspective. Not only is it the anniversary of my consulting firm, but also the launch of a new client project.

If it succeeds, then I will able to reap in the benefits of being able to add to my portfolio (and my bank account). It’s going to be a lot of hard work, but it will be worth it in the end.

If it doesn’t succeed, then I would’ve spent the past several months working for naught. Technically, it’s not for naught, because I would’ve learned from my experience. But, since I have a vested interest in the new venture (i.e. $$$), I have to make sure it works, not just for me but for all the stakeholders.

It’s sink or swim time and my floating abilities are a little less buoyant than I want them to be.

Holding you back, or moving you forward

There are some people in the world who support you and there are others who want to hold you back. I believe I am in the former group, but there are some people I know who are in the latter.

When dating someone who feels less successful than you, I feel like no matter how much I want to achieve, I hold back. I don't want to be too successful in anything because it creates friction. I work hard and reap the rewards. I don't mind if another reaps the rewards, too (whether, or not, they work). And if you can't share with the ones you love, then what's the point?

Of course, I'm happy when the other person does something that makes him/her happy (this didn’t include sitting around and drinking with “friends”). And, I support the other person and push him/her towards being a better person with some contacts or tips; it's beneficial for them.

Sadly, the outcome wasn’t always positive. This is especially true when you’re with someone who is very insecure and doesn’t want to have others around who are more successful than they are. It’s a constant reminder of how insignificant and inconsequential they feel and are.

Whatever the reason are for being this way (a coddling upbringing and “friends” who are just as delusional) are beside the point.

After the dissolution of this kind of relationship, I came to a conclusion: I could either continue on my life path, or do something different. For once, I took the road less travelled and I created something I’ve wanted and never had before. It took a lot more work than I expected, but at least I can say I accomplished something. I didn’t expect anything to be handed to me.

Now, I have my own business. And, I did this without having someone hold me back because of their insecurities. The only thing I need now is to have someone who will support me and push me to go to the next level.

TIFF stuff

From September 9-19, I'll be busy with the usual fuckery that the rest of the world does during the Toronto International Film Festival. That means premieres and parties, stars and sinning for a week and a half and covering it all for a series of diaries being published during TIFF.

I'll be back next week with - possibly scandalous - stories to tell.

Tranny date

"When ur first date is to go out and watch the drag queen perform... No comment." Tweet courtesy of my friend, D.

Thankfully, I didn't go.