I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, July 04, 2005

A cynic's lesson

Suspicions arise whenever someone does something nice for me. My left eyebrow arches. A physiological reaction. I’ve been taken advantage of too many times. Kindness is seen as an opportunity for manipulation. It’s no wonder why the world makes us cynical people.

Strangely enough, I do little things for other people without them asking. Force of habit, I guess. Don’t get me wrong. We’re not talking about saving the world from the ravages of war, disease and environmental hazards. When I say little things, I mean little things: opening doors for another person, letting someone ahead of me in line, not making fun of people’s fashion choices in public.

These actions are not done for the sake of wanting something in return. Absolutely not. Quite often, no response is given. Whatever their reasons for a lack of response, they believe they’re good ones. They expect action. They expect attention. Yet, they can be suspicious, since sometimes their left eyebrow arches, as well.

Like water off a duck’s back, I let it go.

But, when I see a smile on their face, or hear the words, “Thank you,” something comes over me. Indescribable. No one reaction is possible. It just makes you feel good. Plain and simple.

And, for that, I smile.


Blogger vanguard said...


July 05, 2005 12:24 am  
Anonymous whatsthebuzz said...

I know the feeling, lol! I think, once you're jaded...you're jaded. When you're kicked in the teeth often enough, it's just a matter of self preservation to be cynical. I still believe there are good people in the world, who like you...do things without expectations or alterior motives, but you really do have to keep up your guard. At least that way, when you DO get stomped, you can say "I wasn't stomped out of naivety. I knew it could happen when it started."

July 05, 2005 1:47 pm  

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