In da ghetto

With all of the electronic gadgets and technological doodads that filter into the marketplace on a continuous basis, it’s incredibly difficult to stay on top of the trends.

While consumers run out and stand in line to purchase the latest and greatest version of whatever product is being sold, I, on the other hand, hardly ever give into digital temptation.

My technology trips are so behind the times, I’m practically living in da ghetto.

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I have only had two computers: one wasn't upgradable and had to be replaced, the other has been stripped due to a virus that wiped out everything (and I mean every fucking thing) on my hard-drive.

I have never owned a laptop.

I don't have high-speed Internet access (bloody serious, I am).

I don’t download music, but purchase (and enjoy purchasing) CDs.

I don’t own an iPod, or any digital music device.

I didn’t own a DVD player until a few months ago.

I have only one (yes, O-N-E) DVD and it's not a movie.

I never had cable until late last year (a painful withdrawl for a TV crack addict).

I don't own (or ever owned) a digital organizer, but use a paper-based one.

I don’t own a digital camera, but a 35-mm one.

I don’t own a cordless phone.

I have only owned two cell phones: my first one was a brick, and my recent one is a smaller brick (I can call out and receive calls, get messages on voicemail, use call waiting, and throw it at those who piss me off).

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Whether it's a new song that is available online, or a handheld organizer that does everything but go to the washroom for its owner (it has to be programmed to do that), there will always be something that will replace it in a few months.

Until then, I will continue to sit on my rock and relax in my cave.