I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Spanx you very much

Even with the threat of global warming, winter weather always entails a series of days with temperatures so cold that post nasal drip freezes the second it begins to run down your schnoz.

Worst of all, it can turn your outie (*cough*) into an innie. And no one wants that.

The simplest way to keep everything warm and toasty is to throw on a pair of thermal underwear; preferably long-johns. The technology manages to retain body heat without sweating.

But, the best thing is that they work like Spanx, the well-known collection of body-shapers. Long-johns make your clothes fit better (at least below the waist) by sucking it in, pushing it up, and - when required - lifting and separating.

They’re like a push up bra for your nether regions

Amazing. I’m considering wearing three at a time.

Note: And, yes, it is.

12 Comments:

Blogger savante said...

Turn an outie into an innie :) Love that line!

March 07, 2007 4:50 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

Long johns are essential. I never thought about them helping with the basket arrangement though,lol.

March 07, 2007 6:07 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE my long johns (wearing 'em now) but they have a more constrictive effect on my lil Eric than I would like. I find the one pair of nice undies does a better "support and present" job. :-)

March 07, 2007 9:36 am  
Blogger S.B. said...

I am wearing a pair today too! Too bad nobody is going to notice though.

March 07, 2007 10:00 am  
Blogger Timmy said...

yes it is you?

March 07, 2007 10:09 am  
Blogger S said...

I'm one in a set of triplets ;)

March 07, 2007 11:28 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and we have to guess. spanx you very much.

March 07, 2007 2:10 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

i need a larger version of that pic ... because i'm really interested in learning more about long johns ... yours in particular

:)

March 07, 2007 3:25 pm  
Blogger A Lewis said...

Innie? Outie? Who the fuck cares. But, now, lift and separate.....now THAT's something to talk about. (Oh, I just got it....the innie and outie....not the belly button thing......I get it now!)

March 07, 2007 4:14 pm  
Blogger Single Guy said...

so glad I don't live in canada!

March 07, 2007 6:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's almost over. It's almost over. It's almost over.

March 08, 2007 1:31 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

its a frightened turtle in this weather! im telling you!

i didnt wear my long underwear today. the jeans i bought yesterday are already making it hard for me to breathe.

March 08, 2007 10:52 am  

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