I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, February 23, 2007

A working hard-on

With all of the horrible situations you can encounter while at work, there is nothing worse than having a raging hard-on while surrounded by fellow employees.

The way it rubs and pokes the side of my leg isn’t what I need right now. The occasional bit of friction turns me on even more.

It’s resembles a salami that I’m hiding down the leg of my trousers. It’s socially awkward and cumbersome, mostly because I don’t want to bring any attention to the fact that I can knock objects off the shelf with my dick when I walk by them.

Getting up from my desk is not an option. Walking around entails carrying a file folder or a binder in front of my thighs. Going to the photocopier becomes a chore. Meetings become hell on earth (or is it hell in the office?).

Although my mind should be concentrated at the task at hand, sometimes the mind wanders from spreadsheets to between the sheets.

And, thinking of dead kittens and little old ladies doesn't help. At all.

Hopefully, things will settle down before they get out of hand. The last thing I need is to get up from my chair... unless someone needs me to take the place of the office's laser pointer.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now why on earth did you have a hardon at work? Inquiring minds want to know.

February 22, 2007 11:53 pm  
Blogger Threnody said...

I can honestly say that has never ever been an issue for me. In fact, unwanted boners have seldom been an issue since high school, when I had nothing better to do on the bus than fantasize about the cute boys within...then try to think unsexy thoughts to get it back down before my stop.

Is there a beau in the bureau that's doing this to you?

February 23, 2007 12:07 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe things would settle down if you would get them in hand.

[*EG*]

Now, where did you say you worked? I might want to stop by and be a fly on the wall. LOL!

February 23, 2007 5:59 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can knock things off shelves with it? Impressive.

February 23, 2007 9:35 am  
Blogger Sh@ney said...

I absolutely deny having anything at all to do with your boners at work... :P
But on that subject, I reckon it would be HOT to see some guy all self conscious over it...*winks*

February 23, 2007 11:00 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

ive had hardons at work. and ive taken care of many of them at work. sometimes while coworkers are mere feet away.

February 23, 2007 11:30 am  
Blogger S.B. said...

Now when you say salami, do you mean the Genoa or the Soppressata - cause they all have different sizes.

I hope your problem worked itself out.

February 23, 2007 1:53 pm  
Blogger Jason said...

I remember when I used to get those so called "hard on"s

February 23, 2007 4:19 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

I picture it like an old silent movie ... the guy carrying the ladder or long 2x4 ... turning and just destroying everything that gets in its way.

Congrats.

February 23, 2007 4:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

February 23, 2007 7:05 pm  
Blogger A Lewis said...

My dear good friend.....you are COMPLAINING about having a hard-on? Unimaginable! I totally dig having a hard-on....anywhere, anytime. Who care if they see.....it's not like any other cute boys have never had a stick in their shorts at work. Embrace the fun!

February 23, 2007 9:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

too funny!!! can't say I've had that "problem" in a while, but their are plenty of ways of dealing with it quickly....

February 23, 2007 10:27 pm  
Blogger tornwordo said...

That never happens to me.

February 24, 2007 7:37 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Popping wood at work is actually great, in a way. It's only a problem if you have to suddenly get up or whatever.

I have the same "salami" question - hey, sorry, but you brought it up!

You ever try moving it so it points up your body (tucked under your beltline, of course) instead of down your leg? It makes a slightly less obvious profile and for some reason seems to make it go down quicker, for me anyways.

Of course, if you've got one of those curvy guys, that might be a problem.

Really, tell us more about it and we can give you more specific guidance. =)

February 24, 2007 1:11 pm  
Blogger Single Guy said...

is there something in particular that got you all worked up? LOL

February 25, 2007 8:37 pm  
Blogger Brand New W said...

great. now *I* have one.

February 26, 2007 2:49 pm  
Blogger Sunshine said...

This is hilarious! If I were you, my nerves alone would have killed it. :P

March 01, 2007 4:29 am  
Blogger madamerouge said...

I miss being in my twenties.

March 13, 2007 11:29 pm  

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