I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Wax paper

Even though you have no choice when having to respond to your GI system, you can still choose the bathroom you’ll be requiring to answer your, um… call.

But, there’s a problem when the loo isn’t up to par with poo.


Since I have to use the facilities, there is no other choice but to take care of the situation ASAP. The loo is in a fancy-schmancy office tower in downtown, supervised by one of the top building mangers in the country.

When I’m finished, I look over to the TP dispenser and am shocked. Not because there’s no TP, but because the TP they use is the same stuff my primary school used: wax paper.

Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with a 2x2 piece of wax paper? You know what happens when you try to do it? That’s right! Your shit gets smeared. All over your ass crack.

Thankfully, I’m a self-cleaning version, so there wasn’t much to smear. I just have to remember that next time, I'll put my GI system call straight to voicemail.

Note: Have a non-shitty weekend!


Anonymous Lemuel said...

I hate to use public restrooms in particular to crap.

April 27, 2007 6:03 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

Remind me to bring my own toilet paper to Canada - or at least to Ontario.

I've never heard of wax-like toilet paper.

April 27, 2007 10:46 am  
Blogger Lewis said...

"I'm a self-cleaning version".....I'm not even going to ask.
I do, however, have a very vivid picture in my mind. I also have four-inch squares of waxed paper I absconded with from a Russian hotel room in 1986. Apparently, it was supposed to be used for the same thing as you're mentioning.

April 27, 2007 11:34 am  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

I NEVER shit in public. I HATE IT. I avoid it all costs. If I HAVE to, I search for the most private bathroom around, which often entails me running into a five star hotel somewhere. Ack! Wax paper!!!

April 27, 2007 1:27 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

Wax paper???!!!...you crazy Canadians!

April 27, 2007 2:50 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

I know there's going to be a time when I have to, but as of yet, I have never done business at the office.

April 27, 2007 4:32 pm  
Blogger tornwordo said...

Always carry a travel packet of buttwipes. Aka baby wipes.

April 28, 2007 7:07 am  
Blogger madamerouge said...

ok everyone, this is the land of trees

there is a great array of tp available here... I haven't encountered the "waxy" kind in decades

and Stephen... dear... I'm sure it's just the finish of the paper. My primary school had that kind, too, but think about it: adding wax would add too much cost

May 02, 2007 12:32 am  

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