I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Brain fart

Being the kind of person who has no problem talking in front of large groups of people, I never choke when it comes to doing large presentations. It doesn't matter if I'm teaching/lecturing a classroom of a couple of hundred to - give, or take - a thousand people.

Except this time.

**
As I’m standing in front of a large audience, their attention focused on me, I turn towards the projected screen, then the monitor, then the audience, then the monitor, then the projected screen, then… nothing. Blank.

I can’t think of what I am going to say next. True, I have only done this presentation a couple of times, but I should know my material. Unfortunately, the reference desk is now closed.

“Brain fart. Braaaaaiiiiin faaaaart…” I whisper into the microphone, unconsciously. The sound amplifies and echoes in the room.

Did I just say brain fart? I think. Oh, fuck, I hope no one heard that. The last thing I need is for these people to think I have no idea what I’m talking about… which I currently don’t.

I look back at the audience, and they look back at me. There's a brief, uncomfortable pause. They stare at me with a What the fuck is wrong with you? intensity. Suddenly, something clicks inside and the switch is turned back on; my mind is working again and the rest of the presentation goes smoothly.

Next time I have to remember two things just in case my mind blanks out: stick to the script; and never, ever say “brain fart” into the microphone.

4 Comments:

Blogger about a boy said...

lol. and yes, im laughing at you.

April 13, 2007 10:22 am  
Blogger St. Dickeybird said...

Whenever that happens, the best option is to say "So this guy was sucking my balls last night..."

It doesn't help with the staring, but increases your presence in the room.

April 13, 2007 10:30 am  
Blogger Steven said...

AAB: Mark my words, it will happen to you, too!

SDB: I already have great presence, so I don't need more. LOL.

April 13, 2007 5:55 pm  
Blogger Marquis said...

Oh I have so been there. Sometimes it still happens I think it's nerves.

April 15, 2007 5:16 pm  

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