Brain fart

Being the kind of person who has no problem talking in front of large groups of people, I never choke when it comes to doing large presentations. It doesn't matter if I'm teaching/lecturing a classroom of a couple of hundred to - give, or take - a thousand people.

Except this time.

**
As I’m standing in front of a large audience, their attention focused on me, I turn towards the projected screen, then the monitor, then the audience, then the monitor, then the projected screen, then… nothing. Blank.

I can’t think of what I am going to say next. True, I have only done this presentation a couple of times, but I should know my material. Unfortunately, the reference desk is now closed.

“Brain fart. Braaaaaiiiiin faaaaart…” I whisper into the microphone, unconsciously. The sound amplifies and echoes in the room.

Did I just say brain fart? I think. Oh, fuck, I hope no one heard that. The last thing I need is for these people to think I have no idea what I’m talking about… which I currently don’t.

I look back at the audience, and they look back at me. There's a brief, uncomfortable pause. They stare at me with a What the fuck is wrong with you? intensity. Suddenly, something clicks inside and the switch is turned back on; my mind is working again and the rest of the presentation goes smoothly.

Next time I have to remember two things just in case my mind blanks out: stick to the script; and never, ever say “brain fart” into the microphone.