It's so much easier being an asshole
Nice people have a difficult reputation to live up to because they are never allowed to be anything other than pleasant. If they have one bad day, BAM! it's all changed.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth being nice all the time. When I’m nice, things are great for everyone involved:
I write them a note when they’re not feeling well. I send my condolences about a family member or friend. I call them so they know they’re being thought about. I give them a gift to put a smile on their face. I make them feel like they’re cared for and someone is thinking about them.
That’s what I do when I care about someone.
But, then they turn it around on you. They tell you to back off. They want you to stop doing what you’re doing. It’s making them feel uncomfortable. You’re pushing yourself on them. They feel smothered. They can’t breathe. They need their space. And, they don’t want you anywhere near them.
You’re labelled an asshole because you're doing these things for them. I thought it was me being nice. Don't people want to be treated well? Apparently not.
On the bright side, at least when you’re an asshole, no one has high expectations. And, I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.
Why should I bother to care when it’s so much easier being an asshole?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth being nice all the time. When I’m nice, things are great for everyone involved:
I write them a note when they’re not feeling well. I send my condolences about a family member or friend. I call them so they know they’re being thought about. I give them a gift to put a smile on their face. I make them feel like they’re cared for and someone is thinking about them.
That’s what I do when I care about someone.
But, then they turn it around on you. They tell you to back off. They want you to stop doing what you’re doing. It’s making them feel uncomfortable. You’re pushing yourself on them. They feel smothered. They can’t breathe. They need their space. And, they don’t want you anywhere near them.
You’re labelled an asshole because you're doing these things for them. I thought it was me being nice. Don't people want to be treated well? Apparently not.
On the bright side, at least when you’re an asshole, no one has high expectations. And, I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.
Why should I bother to care when it’s so much easier being an asshole?
Authored by S at 12:00 am
11 Comments:
Why should I bother to care when "it’s so much easier being an asshole?"
This is the philosophy of my life!
I hate to chime in, but it's kind of true. Being a giver too often either leads to being taken advantage of or being used in turn.
Yeah, guys tend to lose interest if I do that, too. I think they think I'm falling for them faster than they want, so they pull back.
It's a fricking $2 gag gift to brighten your day, not an engagement ring!
Man... is all this (past few posts) about the same person? It sounds like someone's been giving you a real hard time. Hope things improve!
An asshole? Not so much. Maybe a bit too emot avail and intense... I might pull away if someone was too 'caring', but I'm hardly a poster boy for functional emotional intimacy.
Don't change. Yea, it's true, nice guys "finish last" often...but you can also look yourself in the mirror and know that you tried, with all good intentions. Don't change.
To clarify, I don't do all of those nice things to one person at a time.
Even I would get sick of that person if someone acted like that towards me.
Ass and you shall receive.
right?
you care because its who you are. i dont think you could pull of portraying an asshole and i dont suggest any such thing.
its the lot of the nice guy to be shat upon. but you do what you do because its you. personally i carry an umbrella just in case of shitstorms.
i hate being nice! i'm always told that I'm too nice and that usually means i end up being walked all over by people who want to take advantage of me or take things out on me when it's not even my fault.
However, i don't think it's in my nature to be an asshole. I'm nice and I feel good about being nice.
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