I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Fucking you out of house and home

As much as I don’t mind commuting to and from work every day, after a while it gets tiring. Sitting on the train isn’t a pain. In fact, I’d rather take the GO than drive my car and get stuck on the highway during rush hour. The problem I’m having is the hourly departure schedule.

Waiting an hour wouldn’t be an issue if I leave work at 6 p.m. to get home by 7 p.m., but that never happens. Normally, I get home at 8:30 p.m. because of the train schedule. It gets frustrating because I have to sit in an uncomfortable chair for an inordinate amount of time until my ass falls asleep while looking at barf-yellow concrete walls. If I remember, I carry a book/magazine with me to read. Sadly, my memory can fail me once in a while.

I’m getting desperate to bring this to an end that I’m willing to marry someone in the city just to move into their place. I have said before the only reason I’ll ever marry someone is for money, but I’ll change that; I’ll also marry them for real estate.

The closer to downtown, the better. It doesn’t have to be a huge place, just enough for me to sleep overnight. I can sleep on the floor because I don’t like squishy mattresses. Cable with PVR-capabilities would be a plus. A parking space wouldn’t be bad, either. If a shower with good water pressure is thrown into the mix, then it’s all good.

When it comes to the matter of sex, I’ll comply. In fact, I’ll fuck them so hard, I’ll render then incapacitated. That way, while they’re recuperating in the hospital, I get the place to myself. And, I don’t have to pay for anything since I don’t own it.

Are there any offers out there? If worse comes to worse, I also do toilets, just as long as they’re not the ones on the train.

6 Comments:

Blogger about a boy said...

silly boy. you can have our couch.

April 21, 2008 9:39 am  
Blogger Lewis said...

dear god, you have quite a list of requirements going there. scares the hell outta me. especially the fucking to incapacitated part.

April 21, 2008 10:15 am  
Blogger dit said...

I am sure you will find a taker. lol

April 21, 2008 6:14 pm  
Blogger Phronk said...

I could use a toilet cleaner, but being fucked to death by a dude is a pretty high price to pay.

April 21, 2008 8:18 pm  
Blogger Brice said...

I understand your pain. I dealt with the worst GO schedule in the GTA. Moving downtown saved me, it can save you too.

April 22, 2008 9:51 am  
Blogger Greg said...

You probably won't consider moving to the states, would ya?

Cripes, if you don't get a lot of offers through your e-mail after that "I'll fuck you till your incapacitated", there's something wrong with your readers! lol

In other words, will ya consider moving to Sac-town?

April 23, 2008 3:30 am  

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