I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Schedule for sex

Even though my schedule is pretty tight, I always try to be flexible with those who require some time with me. Sometimes their requests are easy to fit in, but other times they're irrational. Specifically, this is referring to sex.

To start, I am a very busy person and I cannot - as opposed to will not - take any time off work for anyone. It's impossible. There are several clients I manage and I must be on beckon call from 9 a.m. until mid-afternoon. I do not have time to commute 45 minutes to your place, fuck you for three hours (which doesn't include foreplay, post-coital shower, and a sandwich) and commute another 45 minutes back to work. That's almost five hours. It's not going to happen, unless you're one of my clients (and they pay me to get screwed over).

The reason for this is because I don't want to rush things. Frustration never works to my benefit. Feeling a little bloated doesn't help matters, either. Also, I can always do a couple extra crunches and lunges before meeting up. That's not selfish when it's for someone else.

So, if you want to have sex, make sure it fits in my schedule. For a quicker response, make plans a few days in advance.

11 Comments:

Blogger joe*to*hell said...

listen, i am not fussy. how is november?

September 19, 2008 12:18 am  
Blogger WTWTG said...

u get a sandwich?

September 19, 2008 10:20 am  
Blogger A Lewis said...

Having been married for nearly 11 years, I know all about "having to schedule" to have sex. It's the bane of life! (Is "Bane" a word??)

September 19, 2008 11:24 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

you are such the romantic, spontaneous person I know!

September 19, 2008 11:54 am  
Blogger franck said...

I'll try to keep that in mind, should I ever make it to Toronto again

September 19, 2008 12:41 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never get a sandwitch either!

September 19, 2008 5:32 pm  
Blogger dit said...

you should send round a "spread sheet." lol

September 19, 2008 8:03 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/be+at+beck+and+call

September 20, 2008 2:57 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Actually, you beckon someone over by calling them.

September 20, 2008 6:20 pm  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

Ha - ditto anonymous #2. I had to look it up because "beckon call" sorta makes sense, too, but it's actually "beck and call." http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/more.html

Seriously, three hours? Yeesh. I don't have time for that, either. You'll have to pencil me in for just the sandwich next time you're in NYC.

There's "PNP" for drugs - wouldn't it be funny if there if there was code on Manhunt for sandwiches, too? Men seeking men seeking appointment sex and sandwiches - MSMSASAS.

September 22, 2008 4:14 pm  
Blogger Discotheque GQ said...

Well what if sex just came to you?

September 23, 2008 2:37 am  

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