I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The fart talk

“Ok, we have to talk about it and get it out of the way.”

“What?”

“The fart talk. We have to have the fart talk.”

“Uh, ok.”

“I don’t care if you do and when you do it, but please, as a favour to me, don’t do it in bed.”

"I’ve never farted in bed with you."

"As long as I’ve been here, I know you haven’t. Then again, I’ve been holding them in while in bed; that’s why I always go to the bathroom in the middle of the night."

"Why? I don’t care if you fart in bed, as long as you don’t pull a dutch oven scenario."

Laughter.

"Uh, no. I flap the covers to air them out."

Laughter.

"And, I’d also appreciate it if you don’t get up, like you’re doing right now and let one rip in my face."

Laughter.

"Fine."

Laughter.

6 Comments:

Blogger TED said...

So this was not actually spoken, but said in the language of farts, right?

March 19, 2009 8:24 am  
Blogger JCLL said...

You have very bizarre pillow talk....

March 19, 2009 8:40 am  
Blogger A Lewis said...

That dutch oven crap really burns me. Especially on clean sheet night after everything smells so good.

March 19, 2009 6:09 pm  
Blogger Brand New W said...

that's nice that u have someone to share a bed with...

now when are you going to have the talk about cakefarts?

i'm gonna leave u with that.

March 19, 2009 7:28 pm  
Blogger TFG said...

This post completely blows my theory of the nature of his surgery.

March 19, 2009 8:55 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

Bean-O works. As does hooking up with a sound sleeper.

March 25, 2009 4:48 pm  

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