23:59
Just like Keifer Sutherland tries to save the world as his character, Jack Bauer, races against the ticking clock, I, too, am running against time.
Only this time, there aren’t any terrorists, threats of nuclear warfare, or promises of a crappier-tasting Diet Coke.
It’s another kind of Armageddon - my birthday.
23:56…
Although the world won’t be coming to an end, my world, on the other hand, is about to collapse onto itself.
When I was younger (those were the days), I used to love this day. It was a day where you’d be celebrated with love and affection – not to mention gifts – for growing older and becoming a man.
Not anymore.
The older I got, things started to change. The overwhelming feelings of love and affection turned into ritualistic annoying and irritating rants on why I wasn’t doing this and why I didn't do that.
If I have to hear, “Do you know that so and so just got an amazing job that pays a zillion dollars a week… And, did you hear about so and so just bought an 18 bedroom palace…? Aren’t they a few years younger than you…?” one more time, I pull out the knife from my back and repeatedly run into it to stop me from listening to you.
Also, there are a slew of responsibilities that come along with the package of becoming a man. But, no one ever told me this package didn’t include instructions. Even if they screwed up the English points, I could still read the French ones. Fuck, I’d even learn Mandarin if it would help me out.
23:52…
Now that I am not 16 going on 17, anymore, I know something terrible has to happen. No longer can I settle on my naïveté and youth (I sold them a while ago to pay for my VISA bill), intelligence and quick wit (I’ve learned that the idiots who run corporations don’t like smart people with senses of humour – they’re threats), or ambition and drive (I will still sell you out if it gets me one notch up the ladder).
So, it’s up to me to be the hero. Stop the clock. Stop this event from happening. Stop my world from coming to an end.
Fuck the candles on the cake.
Does anyone have any dynamite?
23:49…
Only this time, there aren’t any terrorists, threats of nuclear warfare, or promises of a crappier-tasting Diet Coke.
It’s another kind of Armageddon - my birthday.
23:56…
Although the world won’t be coming to an end, my world, on the other hand, is about to collapse onto itself.
When I was younger (those were the days), I used to love this day. It was a day where you’d be celebrated with love and affection – not to mention gifts – for growing older and becoming a man.
Not anymore.
The older I got, things started to change. The overwhelming feelings of love and affection turned into ritualistic annoying and irritating rants on why I wasn’t doing this and why I didn't do that.
If I have to hear, “Do you know that so and so just got an amazing job that pays a zillion dollars a week… And, did you hear about so and so just bought an 18 bedroom palace…? Aren’t they a few years younger than you…?” one more time, I pull out the knife from my back and repeatedly run into it to stop me from listening to you.
Also, there are a slew of responsibilities that come along with the package of becoming a man. But, no one ever told me this package didn’t include instructions. Even if they screwed up the English points, I could still read the French ones. Fuck, I’d even learn Mandarin if it would help me out.
23:52…
Now that I am not 16 going on 17, anymore, I know something terrible has to happen. No longer can I settle on my naïveté and youth (I sold them a while ago to pay for my VISA bill), intelligence and quick wit (I’ve learned that the idiots who run corporations don’t like smart people with senses of humour – they’re threats), or ambition and drive (I will still sell you out if it gets me one notch up the ladder).
So, it’s up to me to be the hero. Stop the clock. Stop this event from happening. Stop my world from coming to an end.
Fuck the candles on the cake.
Does anyone have any dynamite?
23:49…
Authored by S at 12:00 am
2 Comments:
So Tiva what do you want for your bday besides sanity?
wish I could help make it better but I'm right there next to you, unemployed and bitter.
See you Wednesday, if you want to trail with the dynamic duo to come down to babysit.
luv u ange
the eternal struggle with the inevitable. You WRITE the instuctions, as you go, bebe!!!!
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