I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Moving violations

The words that I’ve been dreading for the past week have been made loud and clear. And, they couldn’t have come at a worse time: Steven, you’re moving to the other side of the office.

What are even more dreadful are the words that come after the first ones: You have to move, now.

It wasn’t too much of a surprise. I knew it was coming. There were whisperings in the hallways and offices for the past few weeks. And, since I have a supersonic ear, I heard every word.

Being a fighter - even in the most obvious of losing battles - I stand my ground. If they want me to move to Siberia, they will pay for it. Literally. Since moving time is not billable to clients, they will expense this out of their bottom line.

Opening one drawer after another, I meticulously remove every item and place it in a corresponding box and folder, then I walk over to the other side of the office and place it next to my new desk. I am nothing if not organized.

As I make my trek, back and forth, several co-workers give me looks of pity, shielded by plastic smiles. I know what they’re thinking. I’m not stupid. Some of them feel a little sad that I’m moving away (they can’t rely on me to do their crap work). Others are elated that I won’t be working with them, anymore (only I’m the one who is partying inside).

Feeling embarrassed would be par for the course, but I don't show it. With my head held high, I carry on until all of my drawers are empty and all of their contents are in their new (temporary) location.

The in-house IT man passes by my (soon to be former) desk and asks me whether I want my old hard drive, or if I can just use the new computer.

“No, I want my computer. I also want my monitor.”

“Don’t you want the new ones?”

“No. I have a few things on my hard drive that make it easier for me to do certain things, and I don’t want to move them around on the server, then resave them on my new computer. And, I like my monitor. It’s bigger than the other one." I am adamant. "No. I want my old ones.”

“Anything else?” he's such a nice guy. He knows this is hurting me.

“I also want to take my keyboard, my mouse and my phone," I reply as I point to every item. "I want it all at my new desk.” Yes, I’m being petulant. No, I don’t deserve second guessing. Yes, I’m being difficult. No, I don’t deserve third-class treatment.

He sighs as he starts to take apart the old computer.

While the IT man moves my equipment, piece by piece, I’m relegated to picking up a j-cloth and some Fantastik to clean up the mess the previous person left behind. Such a mess it was that there are still remnants of them.

Did I mention they moved 20 feet away and left behind ½ of their shit on my (soon to be new) desk? Uh-huh. Yeah, exactly.

Taking my sweet-ass time, the desk is spotless and smelling of lemon. All of my previous paraphernalia is in its new drawers.

When all is done, I sit down at my chair (which I brought from my former desk - again, I ain't stupid) and I sigh.

"Welcome to your new desk!" a few of my co-workers say as they pass by me. "We're happy you could join us." They're being nice in this transitory period. What's offputting (to me) is they mean every word.

While my other co-workers were too happy to see me go, these co-workers welcome me with open arms.

Maybe it isn't so hard to move to Siberia. As long as you have someone who makes you feel welcome.

6 Comments:

Blogger R.J. said...

Hope your new coworkers keep up their welcoming attitude. Now you get to learn who the freaks in the new crowd are. Fun! (Unless it's you, of course.)

February 23, 2006 9:43 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

Hang in there! Transition of any sort can be rough -- but you'll be fine ... surly attitude and all. :)

February 23, 2006 10:13 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Surly attitude?

Kiss my ass...

February 23, 2006 10:31 am  
Blogger whatsthebuzz said...

I never like changes that affect me, unless they're my idea. I ALWAYS cop an attitude, even if I'm trying not to...and I will hate everything anyone tells me about how much better it will be. After a while, I usually find out that it IS better, but that won't stop me from being contrary the next time.

February 23, 2006 7:44 pm  
Anonymous newbie said...

There's still crap in my office, from the person before me, and I've been there 9 years. My problem is I'm so afraid of change, I have to be pushed to the edge, to even begin exploring the possiblities. Then I go at it like gang busters (whatever that is) and when it looks like I might actually be getting somewhere, puss out, and crawl back into my miserable, familiar, comfortable existence.

February 24, 2006 7:01 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Newbie: I took that shit out of there, put it in a box and placed it in his office.

It was my desk, not his.

Someone had to do it and it had to be me.

February 24, 2006 11:05 pm  

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