Better the devil you know
Recently, while I was on the phone with a friend of mine, the conversation veered towards reciprocity in relationships. Or should I say, unreciprocal relationships – the kind where only one person is involved.
He tells me about a buddy of his who is in a relationship with someone he doesn’t realize isn’t interested in him (hence the one-sided part of the relationship). He tells me his buddy feels like resistance is futile, and eventually his crush will give in and fall madly in love with him.
Ah, l’amour in the 21st century.
My friend thinks it’s a little foolish to act in this manner. But, I am not sure where I stand in this situation.
Is it best to say something and hope they understand, even with the fear of a negative reprisal on their behalf?
Or, is it best to say nothing and hope they find out on their own, even with the fear of them going after you, asking why you never told them this in the first place, putting their heart out there, getting it stomped on, feeling embarrassed and stupid and then going home and sitting in front of the television for days on end with nothing to comfort them but Ben & Jerry’s and endless reruns of CSI and Law and Order?
Tough decision.
Personally, I’m the sort of person who wants the truth no matter how much it hurts (I'm not a cold and heartless bastard, but I want to get on with my life and not dwell on the past).
But, I don’t say anything. I keep my opinions and judgements to myself. Let my friend’s buddy learn his lesson however he pleases.
Better the devil he knows.
He tells me about a buddy of his who is in a relationship with someone he doesn’t realize isn’t interested in him (hence the one-sided part of the relationship). He tells me his buddy feels like resistance is futile, and eventually his crush will give in and fall madly in love with him.
Ah, l’amour in the 21st century.
My friend thinks it’s a little foolish to act in this manner. But, I am not sure where I stand in this situation.
Is it best to say something and hope they understand, even with the fear of a negative reprisal on their behalf?
Or, is it best to say nothing and hope they find out on their own, even with the fear of them going after you, asking why you never told them this in the first place, putting their heart out there, getting it stomped on, feeling embarrassed and stupid and then going home and sitting in front of the television for days on end with nothing to comfort them but Ben & Jerry’s and endless reruns of CSI and Law and Order?
Tough decision.
Personally, I’m the sort of person who wants the truth no matter how much it hurts (I'm not a cold and heartless bastard, but I want to get on with my life and not dwell on the past).
But, I don’t say anything. I keep my opinions and judgements to myself. Let my friend’s buddy learn his lesson however he pleases.
Better the devil he knows.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
3 Comments:
Well let's see. I have a friend who is in the SAME situation as I am. And I have a crush on him, but he wants to remain friends. We had a little thing the first time we met, but now he wants to keep it platonic. It's just ... it's hard to talk to him all week long and get the impression that I'm important (at some level) to him, only to go hang out with him and be left, ignored, forgotten as soon as something better comes along.
That sucks. It's happened twice now. No more.
Six: So I guess my friend's buddy isn't the only one in the same situation.
Who knew?
And being out is better than being closeted ... why?
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