I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Tasting cotton

While at work, it comes as no surprise that my legs begin to fall asleep after sitting in a chair for several hours. It’s so gradual, you almost don’t feel it happen.

Things begin to tingle, from your toes to your thighs. There is a mushy feeling, as if they’re morphing themselves into mounds of clay. Then BAM! The moment you get up, you almost fall over due to the plodding paralysis.

In order to rectify the situation, I take a short walk around the building. I use the service staircase, down four floors, use the escalator to hit the main floor, take a walk around the building, then back up escalator and the four floors to the employee entrance.

Before swiping my card to get in, I normally adjust my underwear. It’s amazing that a short walk can turn a pair of briefs into a miniscule thong. After a few tugs, and a wiggle, the wedge is gone and I walk into the office.

No muss. No fuss.

This continues on a daily basis, as a moderate form of exercise - light cardio. Down the stairs and escalator, around the building, then backtrack on the stairs and escalator.

Before I get to the employee entrance, I feel that my briefs have gone a little too far up, so much so that I’m tasting cotton. What was first a pair of briefs has now become a VS thong. I squat and pull, twist my torso and shake my leg a little. While doing this, I turn around and look up. There’s a surveillance camera. It’s been watching me. It’s been watching me several times a day, for the past few months. Over and over.

After adjusting my wedge, I smile and wave to the camera. Then, I turn around, smack my ass and walk into the office.

Hopefully, they liked the show.

4 Comments:

Blogger Kevin said...

Actually that's not security. I had those installed myself. Nice wiggle, by the way.

April 14, 2006 9:30 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's time to shop for fresh undies. But you wouldn't want to deprive those security personnels the joy of seeing you wiggle waggle.

Dilemma!

April 14, 2006 10:40 am  
Blogger S said...

Six: You're security? God help me.

Dell: My undies are clean. Those security people (see above) were lucky I was wearing them that day.

April 14, 2006 8:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feel free to come visit me at work, anytime

April 18, 2006 9:07 pm  

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