I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Basic instincts

Taking a quick glance at my clock, I realize I have a few minutes before my lecture starts. Before I grab my bag and run out the door, I think it’s best to make a quick change.

It still gets a little nippy when the lecture ends at 9 p.m., so shorts and a t-shirt are not akin to warmth. Into my bedroom I go, and don’t bother switching on the lights. I throw on the first pair of jeans I find and a jacket and head for class.

When I arrive, I notice the room isn’t as full as I expected. My usual seat at the front of the room is vacant, so I make my down to the front of the room, passing about 15 rows of seating.

The lecture starts and people continue to trickle in while the TA is doing his thing at the front. I am sitting upright in my chair, with my back slightly curved over the table top so I am able to write down copious notes on my clipboard.

As the class continues, my posture changes and I begin to slouch further down my chair. The clipboard remains on the table top, but my head rests on the top of the chair while my ass is about to slip off the bottom. My arm is stretched out across the table top and my legs rest wide open, making a V-shape.

Then something happens.

Since there is an air current that bypasses the front of the classroom, my legs begin to feel colder than usual. Crossing and uncrossing my legs - as well as rubbing them together like a preying mantis to create friction - doesn’t seem to help with the circulation or chill factor.

Holding onto my clipboard with my right hand, I run my left hand down my leg and back up towards the zipper. Something is awry.

With my index finger, I feel loose threads and then I touch skin. I continue on this path until I realize there isn’t a small hole in the crotch of my pants, but a large rip. If it wasn’t for the zipper and the double stitching near the back, the rip would’ve split the jeans in half.

What’s worse is that I’m not wearing any underwear and Johnny has come out to play.

My basic instincts of crossing and uncrossing my legs have led to me accidentally flash my TA for the past two hours. It’s too late to do anything about it, now, so I lean back and let Johnny play for a little while longer.

The lecture finishes soon after my discovery and I pack my bags (all of them), and head out of the classroom.

I’ve learned a lot today in lecture, especially that I never really cared for show-and-tell.


Blogger Kevin said...

Well, was the TA cute at least?

Or ... did tha TA even notice? Was anything said? Maybe you have nothing to worry about.

May 01, 2006 8:48 am  
Anonymous Dutchimport said...

No you didn't! Did this really happen? And why do you not wear any underwear???

May 01, 2006 2:28 pm  
Anonymous dell said...

Wedge, that's why. :)

May 01, 2006 6:35 pm  
Anonymous newbie said...

Lemme know when you need a substitute TA

What class, by the way?

May 01, 2006 9:20 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Six: I have no idea if anything was noticed. But, I did get an A- in that class.

Dutch: Yes it really happened and I wasn't wearing any undies b/c I had on boxers at home and I don't like wearing them under jeans.

Dell: See above.

Newbie: It was a psych class (go fig).

May 02, 2006 12:29 am  
Blogger toobusyliving said...

I miss school!

May 02, 2006 2:19 pm  

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