I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow

The actions of yesterday can have an effect on the events of today. If those actions happen to be erroneous in nature, they can beget a nuclear meltdown.

Kinda like picking the wrong song to sing on American Idol.

This week, contestants selected two songs using Billboard’s catalogue of charts: a song from the year they were born, and; a song from 2006.

Were songs from the past as good as the ones of today? Depends on the year. But, common knowledge does dictate that history is bound to repeat itself... especially with crappy songs and crappier singers.

KABOOM!

1978 – On Broadway. A soulful take on a soulful song isn’t much of a stretch. A soulful take on a disco song would’ve kicked ass. Donna Summer, anyone? Maybe next week.
2006 – Home. Please don’t let the ironic song title ruin your chances this week. I don’t want you to go home.

1988 – Kiss. You chose this song? There was nothing better in 1988? Too bad. Kiss away your chances of staying.
2006 – Be without you. Your lower range is sometimes a little shaky, but overall it was good performance. You ain't Mary J., but you make a good Paris B.

1979 – Renegade. Perfect song and great performance, but your voice strains a bit when you reach for those high notes.
2006 – I dare you. Proof that you screamed your way through the song – your voice almost gave out twice. And, the song sucked. No songs by Creed on the charts this week?

1984 – Against all odds. Jeff Bridges and Rachel Ward would’ve certainly offed themselves if this was the rendition heard in their film. Wrong key and all over the place. And, stop smiling – it’s a serious song.
2006 – Black horse and the cherry tree. It was a good thing you were on your knees during this song (but the “dancing” needs work, white girl), because you better be praying to Jesus that voters didn’t listen to the first song you sang.

1976 – Play that funky music. Oh. My. God. Take me, Lord. Take me now!
2006 – Something. Simon was right saying it’s strange that a song that is 30 years old can be considered recent. Oh well. As boring as it was, it cleaned up the mess you made of the first song you sang. No bleach for my brain.

In the end, there were no serious disasters.

Okay, okay, one… no, two… all right, three of them.

But, there wasn’t a rehash of Chernobyl. It was more like Three Mile Island.

5 Comments:

Blogger tornwordo said...

McPhee blew it. I didn't think she was capable of being that bad. I want Elliot or Paris to win. You, do you have a favorite?

May 03, 2006 5:33 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

I caught the end of it and was less than enthralled with what I saw. And based on the recap clips, I didn't miss much.

May 03, 2006 9:36 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Torn: McPhee is a great singer with bad song choices.

I love Elliot, but he won't win.

Right now, I wouldn't be disappointed with any of them (unlike some past years - yeesh).

Six: The recap clips are the best to watch since you can hear the voices without the audience screaming and the booming orchestra.

May 03, 2006 5:14 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

As they began to sing their group number, it was obvious who the producers had placed in the top three.

And the results proved me right so far.

May 04, 2006 2:05 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Six: I already had a feeling who the top three would be in the first couple of weeks (although I was wrong with Pickler - she picked too many crappy songs).

But, the opening song was something else... talk about a modern day Chernobyl.

May 04, 2006 3:31 pm  

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