I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Sizing you up

Working in retail for several years has given me a good eye when sizing someone up without asking them whether they're a small, medium, or large. Opening your mouth to say those words can be a painful experience for both people involved... unless the other person is lying through their teeth.

When someone told me they have a 32" waist, I knew they're talking about another size. Unless they took an alternate form of math in school and think a 2 is a 5, then it made sense. And, it's not all about the waist, but about every body part imaginable.

Seriously, people. Who do you think you're trying to fool? If I look you straight in the eyes when you claim to be four inches taller than I am, then those extra four inches of height must be all forehead.

Why do people have to lie about something that is impossible to hide? You can't decrease girth and length by four inches (two-to-four inches being an average) where you don't want it and increase it where you do.

It's almost as bad as Internet inches vs. real world inches. And, if that's the case, then I'm 12".

9 Comments:

OpenID christopherc said...

I've always been a firm believer in the "show me yours and I'll show you mine then!" principle. I keep a small measuring tape on my key chain that we can measure up with after it's all whipped out.

Wanna see?

-C

March 06, 2008 6:46 am  
Blogger Victor said...

Or you can move to a metric measurement country like Australia where it is easy to be 15.....(centimetres = 6")

March 06, 2008 7:48 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

im a grower not a show-er. im like one of those 'pills' you drop in water and it expands 20 times its original size...but mines more like 10 times.

wanna see?

March 06, 2008 9:27 am  
Blogger dit said...

I am a show-er and a grower. A mixed bag or bone if you will. lol

March 06, 2008 12:32 pm  
Blogger Lewis said...

So, is that YOUR hand or someone else's? Just trying to get a good comparison for...you know....ah, comparing.

March 06, 2008 12:43 pm  
Blogger Shirley Heezgay! said...

make sure you wash that zucchini before you cook it.

March 06, 2008 12:50 pm  
Blogger Tony (LT) said...

Well..if in net inches you are twelve and the variable is 2-4 inches...that's still putting you at a very healthy 8-10.

March 06, 2008 11:03 pm  
Blogger Greg said...

I guess we are to assume that is your hand and cock, yes? Or is that a pic from the internets? lol

March 10, 2008 2:58 am  
Blogger Preposterous Ponderings said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

March 10, 2008 6:36 pm  

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