I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Walking the dog

When e-mailing from work, it's always best to refrain from using R-rated words in order to bypass certain "flags" that arise in the system's server. Type a word like penis or vagina, and a mainframe flashes a red signal, then a group of little men show up at your desk, take a hold of your computer, and remove you from the premises.

Hence, a code is developed.

Although there are many terms that can mean one two different things (ex: stuffing a turkey does make you sound like Martha Stewart), one of the best ones is this: walking the dog.

It's the multi-purpose, be and and end all of code terms for work e-mails.

Think about it...

Your dog stays inside all day, in a small and cramped space. It's frustrated. It wants to get out. It needs air, some exercise to stretch its legs and flex its muscles. The animal wants to release some tension, over and over and over again, if possible.

Isn't it a crime to be cruel to your pets? If you take care of them, they'll give you so much happiness in return.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take my big ol' dog for a nice long walk. The longer, the better. Of course, he also likes it when someone - besides its owner - does the walking for him. Any takers?

13 Comments:

Blogger A Lewis said...

What's the going rate for a dog walker? Or maybe we could just work it of in trade. But, listen, is it necessary to, like, actually tell us that you have a "big ol' dog"? That's like cruelty to animals. I love exercise.

March 16, 2007 12:43 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, among many others I'm sure, would love to take you dog for a nice long walk. We might be able to coax him to do his business a couple of times along the way.

March 16, 2007 6:03 am  
Blogger Steve said...

'Walking The Dog' is good. If they get hip to that, I'll switch back to 'Roughing Up The Suspect.'

March 16, 2007 6:09 am  
Blogger S.B. said...

I think I am a habitual Dog Walker. It is normal for your dog to be walked 6 times a day?!?!?

March 16, 2007 9:17 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every single time I tell someone I need to walk my dog, they think I'm referring to the euphemism you're talking about.
Of course, they're right but I still try to make it about the pug.

March 16, 2007 9:59 am  
Blogger Brand New W said...

Karyn White has a fabulous song titled Walking the Dog. Just so you know.

March 16, 2007 12:49 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

I'd like to give your dog a nice sudsy bath, AFTER we take it for a long walk of course...

woof-woof...(indeed)

March 16, 2007 3:03 pm  
Blogger tornwordo said...

Sara is too feeble for walks now. Maybe I'll try this weekend. Oh no probably not, another 30 centimeters of snow coming.

March 16, 2007 3:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd love to pet your dog. I'm a big dog lover.

March 16, 2007 5:54 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love taking the dog out for a walk....

March 17, 2007 12:05 am  
Blogger Sh@ney said...

lol...I may as well be a dog walker seeing as I dont have a dog of my own...:P

March 17, 2007 5:35 am  
Blogger Phronk said...

My dog likes walking too! She especially likes going to the park and playing fetch!

Wait, what are we talking about?

March 18, 2007 12:05 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is yours the breed that drools?

March 18, 2007 12:39 am  

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